Checking Where We Are At

I've been feeling the urge to write on my blog, but I don't know what to write about. Everytime I try to write what I'm going through and learning in my relationship with God, it's like biting into a green banana. It's way under-ripe.

So where am I? What am I doing? Why am I asking myself questions?

My mom has surgery tomorrow and the central issue is her uterus. The last time it was the central focus, it was my home -- 30 something years ago. They worried about me then. I worry about her now. It's not fretting or hand-wringing worry, just a pre-occupied worry that draws your mind every idle second. Pray for her, if you would.

My children grow more interesting with every passing day. My eldest has been dealing with some friends who decided that the books my daughter has enjoyed for years and thoroughly embraced are in their minds less than worthy. This has put my daughter's world in upheaval and we've spent a lot of time sorting through the issue itself and also what motivates people, what good friendships look like and so on. I'm just glad to be there to help her sort through the complexities.

My son and I are breaking out the Madden football and warming up to the upcoming Broncos season. My son is 9 and he's just a sponge for football. He gets the strategies and he's beginning to get the nuances of the sport, with tactics like using a quick throw over the middle to defeat a blitz and how spinning can actually open up a play. I want him to learn and enjoy football. Still, when I was his age, one year of Pop Warner was enough to push me away for a few years. My coach was nuts, but he was also good at getting the team to win week-in, week-out. It was horrible but it also changed me, for good or for ill. I wonder how much of my disablility is owed to that "year of heck." I'm not as willing to put my son through as much. I enjoy his tender heart too much.

My youngest is enjoying the last of her "cute" years at age 5. She is reading, writing and controlling all who fall under her power. This is good and also very bad. I wonder if she'll get herself into a situation where a cute smile, an "I'm sorry," or a time of contrition in her room won't undo the mess. So far so good, but there's just things you can feel as a parent. "She doesn't quite grasp this yet."

We continue to wait for disability to realize we're telling them the truth. Those of you who know the process know that this can be years in the making. It is the hardest to sit here and wait for them to get to you while your kids need more. God will take care of us though. He will see us through.

My eyes are not staying open, so I'll close. Hopewrite you again soon.

Steve