Nearly everything I've written lately has not been posted here. It's partly because my blog here is stalled. I wanted a better set up, a smoother appearance, a better this, a nicer that, and in my ignorance, I let my domain expire rather than transfer it. A word of advice about custom domains: Never, ever let them expire. All the momentum I never realized I had gained here went away when that happened. I should have listened to that little voice in my head that said, "Wait!"
So. My momentum is no more. My "mo" is no mo'. Not exactly a shining achievement, but like my friends who lost nearly everything in the Waldo Canyon Fire, I have a chance to start fresh here. I have a few ideas that I'm starting to firm up. This blog will continue to publish as I go, making changes on the fly. Wherever I go, I'm going to do all I can to take you, my friends, along. I will be careful not to lose you again!
Why haven't I been publishing? Partly because my walk with God had hit a coasting spot. If you've walked with Him for any amount of time, you'll know what I mean by coasting. He's not really talking much, and I'm not in any hot water with any one. Nothing seems to be in crisis (aside from fire, flood, and famine, which we've seen before, to one extent or another). I just came to think that there wasn't really anything going on in my walk. Boy, was I wrong! Never ever (is there an echo in here?) believe the lie that God isn't working 24/7/365 on you!
Sure, there will be moments when there's peace around you and he's not visibly altering your heart by pressing it in a vice and heating it with fire, but that's where I got tripped up. I thought that since he wasn't coaching me and I kept talking to Him, that everything was fine and there were "no worries." It's the tagline from a Jaws sequel that haunts me: "Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water..."
It's always that problem that hangs just beneath the surface. Worse yet, it was contributing to my lack of writing. It seems to me that nothing is worse than a constipated writer. Sorry for comparing this to such a base idea, but when a writer is not writing, it's not that he's stopped writing. It's that he's stopped listening with his heart and writing from what he hears. All the other stuff he's written is not from that spot and the works range from little bits from his heart to what could be considered busy work.
I had been up all night, struggling over the issue, when I had finally resolved to "fix" the problem with what appeared to be the only solution. That's when my wife, wonderful Karen, asked in a middle-of-the-night croaky voice, "Did ya pray about it?"
"What?!" I responded in anger. Whoa. Wait a minute. Did I just yell at my wife? Yep, I shamefully confess that I did, and I was clearly in the wrong. Sorry. The worst part of it is that I hadn't consulted the God Who knows better than me in every circumstance. Sorry, again, Poppa. So I did, and He showed that He's got a better solution than I have. He is faithful, providentially faithful, even when we are faithless. He has never failed me to give me what I need, even if it's not always what I want.
Your brother in the Lion of Judah,
Steve
PS: If you want to read a bit of good news that has come as a result of last Thursday night in Aurora, there is a story of God's grace that, with a little help from me, has gone viral. Petra (PAY-tra) is a graduated homeschooler who already has a gift that shines even as her mom struggles to extend her days here with her. Brave young lady! I'm praying for her and all the others affected by this tragedy.
Showing posts with label Connecting with God. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Connecting with God. Show all posts
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Friday, October 7, 2011
Todd: Jobs; Around the House, the Heart Is Where Dads Do the Real Work
I have long followed Todd Wilson, a homeschooling father like me, who goes across the country speaking to other homeschooling dads and moms, unlike me. If I had boundless energy and established donors and speaking contacts, I still wouldn't have the God-given anointing to do what he does to bring homeschooling families the encouragement he does.
Todd's transparency, his willingness to admit his failures to live up to his own ideals, places him in a unique class of legitimacy and sincerity. His tag line, "You da dad!" means simply that each father occupies an irreplaceable role in the lives of his children and that each of us are called to step up and fill the role. It doesn't shift with the changing nature of relationships and the sense of impermanence that pervades today's society. We are the ones who shape the next generation into what they will be, by our presence or, regrettably, by our absence. Our children need things--irreplaceable things--from us as dads that they will never get from their moms or from anyone else in their lives; our approval and our blessing, to name two.
Did I get all this by listening to Todd? Maybe. Or it could be that he simply confirmed what I've known in my heart all along. Regardless, I've grown under his leadership and direction as he teaches by his own life and experiences, which enables his sometimes brutal honesty to cut through all the malarchy and flotsam of being a parent and a person in ministry, two roles I can appreciate more than most.
His latest dispatch from the trenches was about the passing of Steve Jobs, one of the most visionary leaders of technology the world has seen in the past 200 years, perhaps since creation. No, I'm not putting you on, and yes, I'm a PC person. I haven't supported Apple since the Apple IIc in 1985. Yet, even the most hardened PC proponent must recognize Jobs' role in making the technological world what it is today. Nonetheless, Jobs' accomplishments didn't really matter in the big scheme of things. Nor did Newton's or Edison's or anyone else's. They were all human, they died, and what really mattered was who they loved and who loved them. That's true greatness. Todd gives hints of this in his latest update.
Much peace,
Todd's transparency, his willingness to admit his failures to live up to his own ideals, places him in a unique class of legitimacy and sincerity. His tag line, "You da dad!" means simply that each father occupies an irreplaceable role in the lives of his children and that each of us are called to step up and fill the role. It doesn't shift with the changing nature of relationships and the sense of impermanence that pervades today's society. We are the ones who shape the next generation into what they will be, by our presence or, regrettably, by our absence. Our children need things--irreplaceable things--from us as dads that they will never get from their moms or from anyone else in their lives; our approval and our blessing, to name two.
Did I get all this by listening to Todd? Maybe. Or it could be that he simply confirmed what I've known in my heart all along. Regardless, I've grown under his leadership and direction as he teaches by his own life and experiences, which enables his sometimes brutal honesty to cut through all the malarchy and flotsam of being a parent and a person in ministry, two roles I can appreciate more than most.
His latest dispatch from the trenches was about the passing of Steve Jobs, one of the most visionary leaders of technology the world has seen in the past 200 years, perhaps since creation. No, I'm not putting you on, and yes, I'm a PC person. I haven't supported Apple since the Apple IIc in 1985. Yet, even the most hardened PC proponent must recognize Jobs' role in making the technological world what it is today. Nonetheless, Jobs' accomplishments didn't really matter in the big scheme of things. Nor did Newton's or Edison's or anyone else's. They were all human, they died, and what really mattered was who they loved and who loved them. That's true greatness. Todd gives hints of this in his latest update.
Hey Dad,There's little to say after all that, except that, the further I go in living with my disabilities, I'm realizing that my role as a husband and a father has so much less to do with my abilities than it does with my heart and my will. I could never lift a finger again and yet be a successful father. Though I can't walk out my love for them by providing for them and working with them on things, I can love them with my heart, my eyes, my words, and my care of their hearts. I will not always have them in my home as I do now, but being a father, as my own father is showing me, never goes away. I will live forever, and I will love forever as well.
I hope you’re doing great, but I’m feeling a little somber. It started last night as we were gathered in the familyroom to watch one of the original Anne of Green Gables movies. My oldest son Ben (18) walked into the room and announced, “Steve Jobs just died.”
I imagine it was a little like that evening in the 60’s when they announced that Walt Disney died, especially for a technology kid. Ben is also a techno-kid, so for the last 2-3 years he’s kept us abreast on all the latest Apple inventions and upgrades, Apple stock, and the news that just a few weeks ago Apple passed Exxon as the most valuable company in the world.
Today, the tech-world is eulogizing him…recounting his story, his unique personality, and the gizmos he invented that have helped shape the modern world.
To tell you the truth, I can’t stop thinking that all he worked for, sacrificed for, and cared about…didn’t really matter. Don’t get me wrong. I think all the iGadgets are cool, but I would just about bet that he wasn’t thinking about iGadgets during his last few moments.
In fact, his name will soon fade (my little kids didn’t know Walt Disney was a real person), and someone else will control the iUniverse.
The truth is that some things matter and some things don’t…iThings don’t matter but iDads and iHusbands DO.
So, Dad, go love your wife and children…and change the world!
You ‘da iDad!
Much peace,
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Adoption Is A Love Most Wonderful
Something very close to my heart is adoption. No, I have not adopted a child, but I'm very open to it, if finances allow. Stories that feature adoption continue to move my heart. I believe it's because I've grown in my faith to view myself as a child of God, which very closely parallels adoption. Paul repeatedly used adoption to help his readers understand the faith, telling the Romans, Galatians and Ephesians that as Christians, we are adopted as sons (and daughters) into God's family.
Like everyone else born on this planet, I was born into the wrong "family." I did not know God in my heart. I was lost, and, if God Himself had not intervened, I would have died never knowing Him, nor ever finding my true home. He did intervene, thousands of times before I was born and likely many more after. He chose me, not because I was better or worse, happy or sad, or even because I was born to good (or bad) parents. He chose me because He loved me. He made me His son when I had no concept of what that meant.
Adoption is a most wonderful love. It says, "You belong to me. I give you my family and those I dearly love. I give you my name that identifies me, so that you and I are linked together for all time." Perhaps this story that my daughter found on a friend's Facebook page best reflects this. I guarantee you will appreciate reading it.
Like everyone else born on this planet, I was born into the wrong "family." I did not know God in my heart. I was lost, and, if God Himself had not intervened, I would have died never knowing Him, nor ever finding my true home. He did intervene, thousands of times before I was born and likely many more after. He chose me, not because I was better or worse, happy or sad, or even because I was born to good (or bad) parents. He chose me because He loved me. He made me His son when I had no concept of what that meant.
Adoption is a most wonderful love. It says, "You belong to me. I give you my family and those I dearly love. I give you my name that identifies me, so that you and I are linked together for all time." Perhaps this story that my daughter found on a friend's Facebook page best reflects this. I guarantee you will appreciate reading it.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Of Summer, Steaks and Suffering By Comparison
It's been a tough few weeks. Physically, I have more energy, but pain, insomnia, and "fibro fog" have also been high.
Here we are at the end of June already! It seems like only a few days ago, we were sitting down with our long-time friends, Andy and Sarah and their family, to a dinner of the best steaks I can remember eating. They were that good! A slow cook over charcoal made it even better. Great googly-moogly, if you want to make me salivate this 4th of July, offer the following menu!
Here we are at the end of June already! It seems like only a few days ago, we were sitting down with our long-time friends, Andy and Sarah and their family, to a dinner of the best steaks I can remember eating. They were that good! A slow cook over charcoal made it even better. Great googly-moogly, if you want to make me salivate this 4th of July, offer the following menu!
Monday, June 20, 2011
God Can Do the Impossible
God can do the impossible.
A woman cries over the only son she ever had, lost at the hands of a ruthless murderer. 17 Years later, she has ... well, watch this.
God can help you forgive. God can do the impossible. What you seem to think is irredeemable, unlovable, immoral, and irreconcilable, is not. Instead, it is redeemable, lovable, justifiable, and certainly reconcilable. The body and blood of Jesus is the answer. His death makes all things possible. His resurrection makes us a promise.
Instead of focusing on what I have lost from my disability, I choose to focus on what I am able to do with what He's given me today. It may not be running all over the mountains, jeeping with people and telling them about the love of God. Would I rather be doing that? Sure, but that's not His purpose for me, at least not today. Today, it's sitting in this chair and sharing a story I happened across by "chance."
"It is no secret what God can do," goes the old song. Indeed, God can do the impossible.
A woman cries over the only son she ever had, lost at the hands of a ruthless murderer. 17 Years later, she has ... well, watch this.
God can help you forgive. God can do the impossible. What you seem to think is irredeemable, unlovable, immoral, and irreconcilable, is not. Instead, it is redeemable, lovable, justifiable, and certainly reconcilable. The body and blood of Jesus is the answer. His death makes all things possible. His resurrection makes us a promise.
Instead of focusing on what I have lost from my disability, I choose to focus on what I am able to do with what He's given me today. It may not be running all over the mountains, jeeping with people and telling them about the love of God. Would I rather be doing that? Sure, but that's not His purpose for me, at least not today. Today, it's sitting in this chair and sharing a story I happened across by "chance."
"It is no secret what God can do," goes the old song. Indeed, God can do the impossible.
Friday, June 17, 2011
God and Debt, Practice and Provision
One thing my wife and I have been trying to do the last eight months is pay down our credit cards and get out of consumer debt. It's one thing to use a credit card to maintain a standard of living that you can't truly afford anymore. It's quite another to be at an absolute minimum and still need things like food and heat after all the money is gone.
We were living on credit a long while before we neared our maximum and could not keep the vultures from circling. We went into foreclosure, nearly losing our house, until friends stepped forward and helped us cure our mortgage under Colorado law.
Since then, we have never been late on a mortgage payment, and hopefully we never will be again, although July looks a bit sketchy because of a downturn in our business. God knows, and he's already there at July with what we will need. I know it. I believe it. He's told us we "will not lose our house for financial reasons." He gave me a "fleece" that came true to the letter, and that's what we hung on to during the foreclosure. If I hadn't received the fleece, I would likely have listened to the folks around me and sold our home to a vulture.
God has stepped in like that from time to time, giving me what I needed to make a crucial decision. It's not my talent or abilities that saved us. It was His word to us and his children around us hearing his voice and obediently giving. Trusting His power and grace to meet us where we were was all we could do. We had no other option.
So where was I? Credit cards. God has allowed us to go into credit card debt. We've prayed and felt His leading was to do what was necessary to provide for us. That may fiddle with people's theology or their fiscal theosophy, but that's where we were. He has always told us in those times that He will deliver us from the debt. But that doesn't mean He will the next time we may run short. It's His provision, so it's His call.
Yet He's also given us enough the last eight months to not just stay out of adding to the debt, but to pay down the debt. But which cards to pay off first? Do we knock off the little ones regardless of the interest rate? Or should we pay down one of the larger ones first? If so, do we pick one with a low rate or a high rate? We don't get any particular direction, spiritually, so we set out to find the smartest way. The answer was a little surprising.
I want to do what brings God the most glory with every aspect of my life, despite--and often through--my frailties. It's not about me, or my finances, or my family's future, really. It's about Him being willing to meet us in our need and acting to put us in a position that only his Son really deserves. He's powerful and wonderful and glorious in His work. We get what we don't deserve, and His providence is more than enough for what we need. Praise His name!
We were living on credit a long while before we neared our maximum and could not keep the vultures from circling. We went into foreclosure, nearly losing our house, until friends stepped forward and helped us cure our mortgage under Colorado law.
Since then, we have never been late on a mortgage payment, and hopefully we never will be again, although July looks a bit sketchy because of a downturn in our business. God knows, and he's already there at July with what we will need. I know it. I believe it. He's told us we "will not lose our house for financial reasons." He gave me a "fleece" that came true to the letter, and that's what we hung on to during the foreclosure. If I hadn't received the fleece, I would likely have listened to the folks around me and sold our home to a vulture.
God has stepped in like that from time to time, giving me what I needed to make a crucial decision. It's not my talent or abilities that saved us. It was His word to us and his children around us hearing his voice and obediently giving. Trusting His power and grace to meet us where we were was all we could do. We had no other option.
So where was I? Credit cards. God has allowed us to go into credit card debt. We've prayed and felt His leading was to do what was necessary to provide for us. That may fiddle with people's theology or their fiscal theosophy, but that's where we were. He has always told us in those times that He will deliver us from the debt. But that doesn't mean He will the next time we may run short. It's His provision, so it's His call.
Yet He's also given us enough the last eight months to not just stay out of adding to the debt, but to pay down the debt. But which cards to pay off first? Do we knock off the little ones regardless of the interest rate? Or should we pay down one of the larger ones first? If so, do we pick one with a low rate or a high rate? We don't get any particular direction, spiritually, so we set out to find the smartest way. The answer was a little surprising.
I want to do what brings God the most glory with every aspect of my life, despite--and often through--my frailties. It's not about me, or my finances, or my family's future, really. It's about Him being willing to meet us in our need and acting to put us in a position that only his Son really deserves. He's powerful and wonderful and glorious in His work. We get what we don't deserve, and His providence is more than enough for what we need. Praise His name!
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Grace
What I posted yesterday was missing something. Sin is sin. It never stops being what it is. Yet what I just told a friend is something I need to say here. I told her,
Remember too that your Daddy's view of things is the only view that matters. What some would count gain, He calls loss and what is by all other accounts a loss is great gain.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
From Training A Child To Training A Young Man
We interrupt our regularly scheduled blogging for a very important letter from a father to his son.
Dear Son,
This letter is reaching you in April on your birthday, but I started it in January. Something this big is going to take planning and I need to get all the head start I can. I'll get to that in a moment.
You're 12 today. Yea! A solid dozen years of life is now under your belt, and that's terrific! Things haven't been easy for you all the time. You've stuck to your chores, and as you've gotten bigger and more capable, we've given you new ones. However, it's not just that you've grown more capable. You've grown more responsible as well. You don't shirk from doing the job you've been assigned.
You've learned the physical and demanding game of football, so much so that I respect your abilities and your talents. If you continue to practice, work hard, and stay true to your desire, you could certainly play high school in a few years, and from there, there's only One Who knows how far you can go.
Because of these changes and because you are my son, we're going to be training you in things that men are expected to be able to handle. I will teach you all I know about plumbing, household maintenance, car care, and more. I'll train you in driving. I will help you begin to think defensively and how to guard yourself and your loved ones to protect them as best you can.
I will be giving you scriptures to memorize so that you have His Word hidden in your heart. I know from experience that there will be times in your life where you are glad you committed the Scriptures to memory, times where having a Bible is too impractical but where you can bring up out of the storehouse of your heart the solid, insightful truth as you are led by the Holy Spirit. That is the true use of the Sword of the Spirit.
I will be praying with you, teaching you how to meditate, and how to cultivate an active prayer life. I've already worked with you on hearing the Spirit. My hope is that we can improve on this with time and patience.
We will consider all of this part of your homeschooling, but more importantly, I pray that in the end, you will consider this the most valuable part of your early education. I say early education because, really, you never stop learning. But if you start good, if you have a clean, stable foundation, whatever you place on top of it will be in good shape.
Son, I love you. I know you are getting older and I am racing to fill your mind and heart with what you need when you leave. I pray I give you everything God wants me to give you. If I do, I know I will have done as good a job as I can. In the end, I want to hear "Well done! You are good and faithful. Enter into your Father's happiness." As you grow, you will hunger for that more also.
As we move forward, my goal is not to create another "Steve," but to help you become the best you possible in God's sight. Remember that this may not be the same as the best you in the sight of the world. We need to keep talking about this as we go.
I love you, son. We are different in some ways and the same in others. In all, I find you a wonderful boy and future man. You bring me happiness and thankfulness. You are a blessing of God in my life, and I am thankful for you.
Love,
Dad
Dear Son,
This letter is reaching you in April on your birthday, but I started it in January. Something this big is going to take planning and I need to get all the head start I can. I'll get to that in a moment.
You're 12 today. Yea! A solid dozen years of life is now under your belt, and that's terrific! Things haven't been easy for you all the time. You've stuck to your chores, and as you've gotten bigger and more capable, we've given you new ones. However, it's not just that you've grown more capable. You've grown more responsible as well. You don't shirk from doing the job you've been assigned.
You've learned the physical and demanding game of football, so much so that I respect your abilities and your talents. If you continue to practice, work hard, and stay true to your desire, you could certainly play high school in a few years, and from there, there's only One Who knows how far you can go.
Because of these changes and because you are my son, we're going to be training you in things that men are expected to be able to handle. I will teach you all I know about plumbing, household maintenance, car care, and more. I'll train you in driving. I will help you begin to think defensively and how to guard yourself and your loved ones to protect them as best you can.
I will be giving you scriptures to memorize so that you have His Word hidden in your heart. I know from experience that there will be times in your life where you are glad you committed the Scriptures to memory, times where having a Bible is too impractical but where you can bring up out of the storehouse of your heart the solid, insightful truth as you are led by the Holy Spirit. That is the true use of the Sword of the Spirit.
I will be praying with you, teaching you how to meditate, and how to cultivate an active prayer life. I've already worked with you on hearing the Spirit. My hope is that we can improve on this with time and patience.
We will consider all of this part of your homeschooling, but more importantly, I pray that in the end, you will consider this the most valuable part of your early education. I say early education because, really, you never stop learning. But if you start good, if you have a clean, stable foundation, whatever you place on top of it will be in good shape.
Son, I love you. I know you are getting older and I am racing to fill your mind and heart with what you need when you leave. I pray I give you everything God wants me to give you. If I do, I know I will have done as good a job as I can. In the end, I want to hear "Well done! You are good and faithful. Enter into your Father's happiness." As you grow, you will hunger for that more also.
As we move forward, my goal is not to create another "Steve," but to help you become the best you possible in God's sight. Remember that this may not be the same as the best you in the sight of the world. We need to keep talking about this as we go.
I love you, son. We are different in some ways and the same in others. In all, I find you a wonderful boy and future man. You bring me happiness and thankfulness. You are a blessing of God in my life, and I am thankful for you.
Love,
Dad
Monday, February 21, 2011
I Know Jesus More Today Than Yesterday
The older I get, the more central to my life Jesus becomes. Mercifully. Thankfully. It is not my good looks, my "wits" or my charm that make me or break me. It's Jesus, his message, and his mission. Paul wrote in I Corinthians 2,
I need Jesus every day. I need his power to carry my cross that I bear. Others have their cross, I have mine. I don't need to nail myself to it. I just need to follow Jesus wherever he leads. As I follow, I find myself drawn closer to him, knowing both his pain and his comfort. It is not an easy, wide, smooth road. It's a narrow, jagged, rough trail. But I believe that the end is truly the beginning and it is worth all I might suffer.
Jesus of Nazareth is the very Word of God and the life we can have through him, both here and hereafter is worth the price to pay. I choose him, daily, hourly, sometimes by the minute, but I choose him because I know enough about him to trust him. He will be with me forever. How can I say no to such a wonderful offer?
For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. ... My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit’s power, so that your faith might not rest on human wisdom, but on God’s power.Despite my efforts, however, I often fail. My pilgrimage, my walk "in the light" can become a dark nightmare of a journey. I have so many pits that I can fall into. Legalism can set me on a course away from the Holy Spirit. Pride can make me shine until I'm blind to everything else, even the most basic, open pit. Whenever I trip in my walk, self-pity and depression can snag my feet and pull me in. Yet God has given me tools and blessings that can defeat each one of these pits, allowing me to walk around or even above them without falling into them. His grace is undeservedly mine, but mine nonetheless. And it can be anyone's too. All we need to do is move from being a fan of Jesus towards being a follower. It's a choice we all have, each day, every day.
I need Jesus every day. I need his power to carry my cross that I bear. Others have their cross, I have mine. I don't need to nail myself to it. I just need to follow Jesus wherever he leads. As I follow, I find myself drawn closer to him, knowing both his pain and his comfort. It is not an easy, wide, smooth road. It's a narrow, jagged, rough trail. But I believe that the end is truly the beginning and it is worth all I might suffer.
Jesus of Nazareth is the very Word of God and the life we can have through him, both here and hereafter is worth the price to pay. I choose him, daily, hourly, sometimes by the minute, but I choose him because I know enough about him to trust him. He will be with me forever. How can I say no to such a wonderful offer?
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
The One Thing That Changes Everything Else
I have a friend who is struggling with the doctrine and work of the Jehovah's Witnesses. I have another dear sister who is struggling--quite literally--for her life, against alcoholism. They have one common characteristic that is at the core of their respective problems.
Both have a malformed image of their Creator.
Both have a malformed image of their Creator.
Sunday, December 19, 2010
The Two Christmases of 2010
When I was in retail, it always amazed me how the last quarter of the calendar year seemed to hang in the minds of the store managers and owners. From October through December, they could expect to equal or exceed the preceding three quarters, essentially doubling their profits for the entire year. I'm not sure that this holds true across the industry, but if Christmas didn't happen for our store, we'd close our doors.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Messiah In the Mall
The Messiah, and the story of G. F. Handel, is an amazing testimony to God. Its "Hallelujah Chorus" has become one of the most well known classical pieces in the world. The message of the Messiah is obvious, but it consists of scripture alone. The most well-known parts are the Old Testament prophecies about Him. What an amazing work!
Organizers in Philadelphia brought this piece to life recently by staging a "random act of culture" in a department store gearing up for the Christmas rush. Complete with a pipe organ, the sound of the praises of our King, especially in a temple of materialism, is music to my ears!
Organizers in Philadelphia brought this piece to life recently by staging a "random act of culture" in a department store gearing up for the Christmas rush. Complete with a pipe organ, the sound of the praises of our King, especially in a temple of materialism, is music to my ears!
Monday, August 16, 2010
Letting God Work, Even In Loss
I posted this comment to my friend Marsha's blog called Other Such Happenings in response to her post, "They didn't know him..."
PS: Here's some good reading (NIV) (MSG). It's one of my favorite chapters.
Dear Marsha,
Great point, and one we need to let the Holy Spirit work into each of us to let him speak through us to those who don't know Jesus personally. Let me comment on one part you brought up.
I believe that your "non-reaction" to mentioning Christian isn't an indication that you love him any less or that you have gotten over the loss. I think it's just an indicator that the pressure exerted on your heart by the loss has been accommodated. It just happens. The wound is not fully healed--nor can we expect it to be in this life--and your priorities and desires have not changed. But you have changed in order to fit this very uncomfortable fact into your existence.
Let the Creator of your heart help you see what's happening and what to make of it. I think there's some comfort in knowing that He's working in you and your heart is being changed daily by his care.
I don't dare compare our griefs, but I do know that loss is painful. I know looking at what I've lost in my abilities is hard. I don't want to accept certain facts, but I know that He has seen this from the beginning and He is authoring in me a new chapter full of his miracles, big and small, and his beautiful redemption and ultimate triumph. Letting Him have mastery over my heart and mind is my challenge. Letting deprivation, pressure, stress, joy, hope, and living desire shape them without losing sight of His love is the essence of my life in Him. Comfortable? No. Needed? Yes.
Can I accept this? Do I have to do it? Only if I want to reach the prize He has for me in the end. For that reason, I subject myself fully to His will, whatever the cost. Can I endure this? Only He would know. But I want that prize. I hunger for it constantly.
Thank you, Marsha, for giving us a window into your grief and the process of moving through it. You are His daughter. I can see it. ;)
SteveIt's very difficult to accept loss. My gradual loss of abilities is something I've had to confront the last five years and try to accommodate in my life and my desires. For a guy who once played midfield for his high school soccer team, climbed the heights of Colorado's mountains, and fully engaged life as it came, I live a humble, inactive, estranged life that grinds me up sometimes. I feel very understanding of the author of Psalm 38 with the maladies he describes, and, just like him, I look to God for my deliverance, whether today or when I come into my inheritance. He will be with me through all of this, and in the end, I will have Him! I look forward to that day soon!
PS: Here's some good reading (NIV) (MSG). It's one of my favorite chapters.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Grumble, Grumble, Toil and Trouble
Let's see.
We have one vehicle, namely the van used to carry my wheelchair, down for repairs after it died just before entering the Eisenhower Tunnel (CDOT, Wikipedia). The hills approaching both ends of this tunnel have killed more vehicles than I care to count! Currently, our beloved van sits outside my house while we mull repair versus replacement. Repair is winning, but the price of $4,500.00 is just a bit outside our comfort zone. Anyone got a Chevy 350 small block in their pocket?
We have one vehicle, namely the van used to carry my wheelchair, down for repairs after it died just before entering the Eisenhower Tunnel (CDOT, Wikipedia). The hills approaching both ends of this tunnel have killed more vehicles than I care to count! Currently, our beloved van sits outside my house while we mull repair versus replacement. Repair is winning, but the price of $4,500.00 is just a bit outside our comfort zone. Anyone got a Chevy 350 small block in their pocket?
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Recommended Blog: Encouraging Words
I really appreciate this blog by "deni." She and I are in the same boat when it comes to abilities and dependence on God. She and her husband homeschool their children, as we do. Every post, I read what she has to say because more often than not, it encourages me and reminds me of what's important. This most recent one is especially good.
Friday, April 9, 2010
What Matters Is Who He Says I Am
Jim May, whom I have a great deal of respect for, just shared a bunch of quotes in his newsletter. This one I've found it to be true. “The way to conquer rejection is to come to the God of all comfort.”
What does that mean? By coming to the God of all comfort, we exchange someone's judgment about us for Someone Else's. Not only that, but we exchange an imperfect, fallible, limited, faulty, impudent, ignorant, self-satisfied, egregious, arrogant, wretched, wicked, immoral, hateful, stupid, insufficient, imploding, bombastic, furious, putrid, evil, little, shrewish, horrid, demeaning, boring, insolent, witless judgment for a new judgment that's perfect, infallible, unlimited, faultless, prudent, knowledgeable, self-sufficient, exceptional, confident, content, good, moral, loving, wise, sufficient, structured, succinct, peaceful, pure, holy, King-sized, good-tempered, beautiful, valuable, creative, polite and witty. And don't think I didn't drag out the wiktionary on that one!
What does that Someone say about me? If I go by what the Bible says, He says a lot! I am His child, His very own, bought with a price. More than that, "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." Christ lives in me! I don't have to accept what they say about me because I have died! I don't answer to them, because Christ takes my place. In Christ, I am already righteous, already holy.
He also says that I am the temple of the Holy Spirit, the Comforter. I have comfort no human can give me. His Spirit speaks to my spirit and bears witness to the truth. His Spirit shows me life as it can be. Reading Romans 8 in the Message paraphrase gets me all excited!
Who you are as He sees you is vastly better than the highest flattery and praise that anyone else could ever say. The love He has for you is better than a thousand romances. He pursues your heart as a suitor, no matter your race, no matter your gender. He seeks your heart. He wants it with all He has, with all He is. What will you say to Him? Will you give Him your heart? Will you give Him all of it?
What does that mean? By coming to the God of all comfort, we exchange someone's judgment about us for Someone Else's. Not only that, but we exchange an imperfect, fallible, limited, faulty, impudent, ignorant, self-satisfied, egregious, arrogant, wretched, wicked, immoral, hateful, stupid, insufficient, imploding, bombastic, furious, putrid, evil, little, shrewish, horrid, demeaning, boring, insolent, witless judgment for a new judgment that's perfect, infallible, unlimited, faultless, prudent, knowledgeable, self-sufficient, exceptional, confident, content, good, moral, loving, wise, sufficient, structured, succinct, peaceful, pure, holy, King-sized, good-tempered, beautiful, valuable, creative, polite and witty. And don't think I didn't drag out the wiktionary on that one!
What does that Someone say about me? If I go by what the Bible says, He says a lot! I am His child, His very own, bought with a price. More than that, "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." Christ lives in me! I don't have to accept what they say about me because I have died! I don't answer to them, because Christ takes my place. In Christ, I am already righteous, already holy.
He also says that I am the temple of the Holy Spirit, the Comforter. I have comfort no human can give me. His Spirit speaks to my spirit and bears witness to the truth. His Spirit shows me life as it can be. Reading Romans 8 in the Message paraphrase gets me all excited!
Who you are as He sees you is vastly better than the highest flattery and praise that anyone else could ever say. The love He has for you is better than a thousand romances. He pursues your heart as a suitor, no matter your race, no matter your gender. He seeks your heart. He wants it with all He has, with all He is. What will you say to Him? Will you give Him your heart? Will you give Him all of it?
Monday, April 5, 2010
That's My King
I love this speech by S.M. Lockridge and the visuals back it up well. On Easter Sunday or any other Monday, that's my King!
And I hope I get to see this painting someday...
And I hope I get to see this painting someday...
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Mountains, Marmots and Missing My Mobility
You know that a disability is getting the better of you when it invades your dreams. Last night, my wife had her first "walking" dreams where I am walking unaided and feeling fine while I walked with her. I've had several of those dreams in the last few weeks. In one, my daughter was so amazed that I was having no trouble and we were both laughing at how good it felt to just walk! If only it weren't just a dream. If only it was real. But it isn't and I can't control it.
On reflection, I love and hate my wheelchair. I always have. I love the freedom it gives me (and my family) to go do things when I have the energy. On the other hand, I hate the attention it brings me. I see the people take notice that I'm in a chair, that I'm different from them in a fundamental capacity, and I don't enjoy the feeling.
Then there are the limitations that come with the chair. For example, I used to climb 14ers. In Colorado, a 14er is a mountain over 14,000 feet ASL. When I was 15, Grays Peak was my first 14er. My dad and I were about 2/3 of the way to the top when I sat down and just listened to the wind (after I caught my breath). Hearing some movement behind us, we turned to see some mountain goats coming down the mountainside right towards us. We held our breath, hoping they would get closer. The largest goat came within ten feet of me and simply lay down on the tundra. My dad came around and got this picture.
, marmots, and mountain goats in their natural home. Frankly, it's difficult to feel like you're a part of all that when you're sitting in an isolated environment like a car. I've found that the fewer man-made assemblages you take with you, the more real and beautiful the experience becomes.
A year ago, I was thinking how much I needed a power chair to get around. Now, I seem to complain about how limited the thing is. I'm so human. I forget that true contentment doesn't come from where I am, what I do, or how I feel. It comes from being in His presence, seeking what He wants, and choosing to live at His place
. While I can't control what happens, I can trust the One Who can.
. While I can't control what happens, I can trust the One Who can.Friday, February 12, 2010
Winter Olympics
Ever since I was a kid watching the Winter Olympics in Sarajevo, I understood the athleticism, stamina and fortitude it took to compete. I was a beginner at skiing, but my brother had already been an "olympic hopeful" contender before damaging his knee. Even watching the alpine downhill with him taught me more about skiing than I could have learned skiing on my own.
Yet, as Kelly Clark says below, you can win every championship and still feel empty. If people love you just because you can fly down the mountain at insane speeds or whip 1080s like they're nothing, you intuitively know that the love is conditional. It will go away when someday you lose the ability to do what you do. That's why a relationship with God looks so good to those who perform for approval.
Yet, as Kelly Clark says below, you can win every championship and still feel empty. If people love you just because you can fly down the mountain at insane speeds or whip 1080s like they're nothing, you intuitively know that the love is conditional. It will go away when someday you lose the ability to do what you do. That's why a relationship with God looks so good to those who perform for approval.
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