The Two Christmases of 2010

When I was in retail, it always amazed me how the last quarter of the calendar year seemed to hang in the minds of the store managers and owners. From October through December, they could expect to equal or exceed the preceding three quarters, essentially doubling their profits for the entire year. I'm not sure that this holds true across the industry, but if Christmas didn't happen for our store, we'd close our doors.

Christmastime In Our Homeschool

I posted about homeschooling during Christmastime on my Dad @ Homeschool blog. Christmastime is a wonderful time for both parents and children in our homeschool. Home education offers so much freedom compared to the rigid secularism in our schools. We can offer our children, and our God, so much more!

Messiah In the Mall

The Messiah, and the story of G. F. Handel, is an amazing testimony to God. Its "Hallelujah Chorus" has become one of the most well known classical pieces in the world. The message of the Messiah is obvious, but it consists of scripture alone. The most well-known parts are the Old Testament prophecies about Him. What an amazing work!

Organizers in Philadelphia brought this piece to life recently by staging a "random act of culture" in a department store gearing up for the Christmas rush. Complete with a pipe organ, the sound of the praises of our King, especially in a temple of materialism, is music to my ears!

Who Am I, Again?

It's beginning to look like Christmas around here. Advent has started. We're still waiting for our Advent Book on order. Tabitha's Travels is en route, I'm told.

I just had a delightful conversation with a 3 year-old. She proclaimed that Santa Claus was coming to give gifts to all the children. Of course, I pretended not to know anything about it. I asked if you had to be a certain age, which she didn't know. I asked her if she thought I could get a present too, even if I'm all grown up. Karen, my wonderful wife, chimed in, "Because he's still a kid at heart."

To which she replied, "He's not a kid! He's a boy!"

Rats.

Thanksgiving Special

My family has enjoyed Focus on the Family Radio Theater for years. The Chronicles of Narnia and A Christmas Carol are often listened to, almost as much as the Adventures in Odyssey, also from Focus. Radio Theater engages your mind much more than TV or movies. Your mind creates the stage for the performers, and the drama is perhaps even more real as adventures and drama unfold.

So, I'm thrilled to tell you that today, Focua on the Family Radio Theater is offering the Thanksgiving story of Squanto for FREE! I really love this story! Visit CBD to complete the download. You will need to complete a CBD order (and obtain an account if you don't have one), and you will likely need to download and install a player from Akamai to play the content on Quicktime.

It's a neat way to bring the story of Thanksgiving home tomorrow!

Escaping the Homeschool Matrix ....Follow this link!

Hi there, everyone!

I just found out that Nancy Carter of The Old Schoolhouse Magazine mentioned me in her e-mail. Some of you may have landed here, expecting to find the story. This is just my personal blog. If you're wanting to skip to the story,

It's actually right here, TOS: Escaping the Homeschool Matrix, 

or here, the original with artwork.

Thanks for reading! If you're interested in what else I have to say about homeschooling, or whatever else is going on, please make yourself at home! 

I'll be lion around here if you want to comment in.

Can We Park Here Or Not?

If you Google images like Funny Street Signs, you'll find all sorts of genuine bureaucratic boo-boos, mistakes, and botched jobs. I ran across my own where I live. When we were looking for a handicapped parking space, my wife and I noticed something was a little ...off.

It wouldn't be so bad if this wasn't a city crew's paint job. I guess with the recession, they're having to freehand it.

A Celebration Of Life, Of Memories, and Of Love

Writing, it seems, makes thoughts stick.

My dad is 70, as of August. His own dad never made it to 70. Perhaps as a celebration of sorts, he is writing his memoirs. And he's doing so with the patient help of my mom. I'm very proud to know he's doing this and more than a little excited! His memories are parts of my own history, and more importantly, a legacy that I can pass on to my own children and their children's children. That is, if Jesus doesn't come back before then, which is one of my dad's favorite caveats. He's anxiously waiting for Him, and so am I.

Still, if He does delay, I will have the memories of my dad long after he passes on, in the earthly sense. I say "in the earthly sense," because my dad really won't die. Sure, his body may stop living, and I will be very sad to see him leave. But he's going somewhere special. ;-)

A friend lost her uncle, in the earthly sense of course, last week. She's sad and we talked for a while, but like Paul said, we don't mourn like those who have no hope. The more I think about death, the more I am convinced it doesn't exist for the Christian. Again, we see the body they leave behind, but it's uncanny how many times I have heard relatives, after they've viewed the body of their loved one, state that their loved one isn't there. Call it a "death mask," or whatever, but based on my own experiences, I can confirm that the body is a shell that we leave behind and that dying isn't the end.

So, if Jesus does not return before I die, I have my dad's writings to help me remember and hold onto the good. And if that isn't something worth celebrating, I don't know what is! Whether with a camera, a paintbrush, or a pen, it is a good thing to make memories stick. Death cannot claim them if we are sure to make them last.

Thanks For Reading Patiently

Wow! You're still here! Thank you!

Sometimes I'm amazed anyone reads my stuff or hangs in there long enough to read when I do actually post. For these people, I am truly thankful. And maybe I can offer an explanation of where I'm at.

Picture blogging as farming. There are some massive producers out there. Everyday, or even every few hours, some blogs produce a new post. It's as if they're a large co-op, delivering from a silo on demand. I'm more like a simple family farm, delivering as harvests come available. Sometimes, I need to let land lie fallow as well, because of my disability or other shortcomings. I harvest when what He plants has ripened enough. I sell it from a little stand, and I don't worry about much except what God wants to do next. I trust Him for the growth and the increase.

Thanks again for being patient! I hope to produce the quality worthy of His name.

Wisdom And Artistry From Unexpected Places

My youngest has such a unique perspective! She's definitely the artist in the family. Last night, after a particularly hard day, I was about to lead the whole family in prayer, but then Shiloh asks, "Can I lead?" I was so taken off guard, the improper English didn't even register!

"Sure!" I said.

"Dear Jesus, please put the five pieces of our puzzle back together again ...and you be the board that holds us all together. Wow! Now I have two word pictures of God!"

To quote The Cat In The Hat, That is not all. Oh, no, that is not all.

Earlier in the conversation, before I even arrived, my firstborn was having a very real, teen-in-crisis moment when she confessed that she didn't see her purpose in life. This is a very honest question that I dealt with myself. Shiloh's answer, though, was one I'd never heard before.

"Kylie, I am so glad you're here because if you weren't, then Keegan and I would have to share a room. And we would have an empty room," she said, referring to the room they shared.

It didn't dawn on her that she would have had her own room just for her, or if it did, it didn't show. She's the one that's capable of sensing other's emotions and adjusting to the moment. That's a good foundation for an artist, or a counselor.

It's so good that we have her here at home with us! I'm certain beyond any shadow of doubt that putting her in a schoolroom would have negatively affected her, possibly to the point of ruining her wonderful, sensitive, kind, and loving spirit. I am so grateful for the gift of my young lady Shiloh!

Teething Bling?

Having child care in your home provides an opportunity to come across new and unusual products. A friend recommends this for moms of newborns to 24 months. I was fairly impressed by how simple an idea it is. Beats the real keys and other stuff some folks hand to their kids. Speaking of, graphite's not toxic, is it?

Dads, this might be a good "just because" gift for your wife if you have a teether. Can you believe we survived without this stuff? And no, I haven't tried this product personally, from either the mom or baby side.

Failing Into the Kingdom

Being a kid with unusual sensitivity and creativity was a sure-fire recipe for disaster back in the 1980s classroom. Combine that with a learning disability and even the nicest set of boys and girls can turn hostile. Coming around to Facebook and renewing friendships from that era has taught me that most people learn more grace and accommodation as they age. I'm relieved that old injuries heal with time, and most importantly, that God can heal the most stubborn wounds with time and prayer.

Yet, perhaps the worst enemy we face growing up and into our adult lives is our own flesh. Our natural desires to protect ourselves, become independent and control your environment were cultivated in that same 1980s classroom. Those desires can be a true liability when our lives get turned upside down. Can I truly protect my family? Can I control what happens to them, or to me? Can I maintain my independence when pain robs me of the ability to walk, stand or even wash my hair?

Yes, I can't wash my hair without causing my shoulders and back to flare up with arthritic inflammation. And Fibromyalgia just loooooves that inflammation! It was so hard to ask for help with that. In fact, when it came down to it last week, I couldn't. I actually found myself protesting, "No, let me do that. You don't have..." Then I found my heart asking, "Then who's going to do it? You?" And that's where I found myself, quietly crying while my wife washed my hair. It was a picture of God's grace that was itself almost too much to bear.

It's hard to ask for help. Yet God isn't calling me to protect myself, become independent and control my environment. In fact, it seems that the enemy of my soul is the one voicing those thoughts of protection, independence and control. If I were in that mindset, I would have been absolutely beside myself with our car situation today. With one dead and one fainting at the sight of a ignition key, it's called for prayer, grace, and trust. Sure enough, God comes through with a loaner vehicle, help from a stranger, and a part cheaper than we expected.

How can I impugn a holy and righteous God who never fails? It seems that in all things, He wants to grow us in prayer, grace and trust. even when we grew up thinking that such things were for the desperate. Maybe that's why God has to make us desperate in the first place. Maybe He wants to show us a life far better than we could make it.

Letting God Work, Even In Loss

I posted this comment to my friend Marsha's blog called Other Such Happenings in response to her post, "They didn't know him..."

Dear Marsha,

Great point, and one we need to let the Holy Spirit work into each of us to let him speak through us to those who don't know Jesus personally. Let me comment on one part you brought up. 

I believe that your "non-reaction" to mentioning Christian isn't an indication that you love him any less or that you have gotten over the loss. I think it's just an indicator that the pressure exerted on your heart by the loss has been accommodated. It just happens. The wound is not fully healed--nor can we expect it to be in this life--and your priorities and desires have not changed. But you have changed in order to fit this very uncomfortable fact into your existence.

Let the Creator of your heart help you see what's happening and what to make of it. I think there's some comfort in knowing that He's working in you and your heart is being changed daily by his care.

I don't dare compare our griefs, but I do know that loss is painful. I know looking at what I've lost in my abilities is hard. I don't want to accept certain facts, but I know that He has seen this from the beginning and He is authoring in me a new chapter full of his miracles, big and small, and his beautiful redemption and ultimate triumph. Letting Him have mastery over my heart and mind is my challenge. Letting deprivation, pressure, stress, joy, hope, and living desire shape them without losing sight of His love is the essence of my life in Him. Comfortable? No. Needed? Yes.

Can I accept this? Do I have to do it? Only if I want to reach the prize He has for me in the end. For that reason, I subject myself fully to His will, whatever the cost. Can I endure this? Only He would know. But I want that prize. I hunger for it constantly.

Thank you, Marsha, for giving us a window into your grief and the process of moving through it. You are His daughter. I can see it. ;)

Steve

It's very difficult to accept loss. My gradual loss of abilities is something I've had to confront the last five years and try to accommodate in my life and my desires. For a guy who once played midfield for his high school soccer team, climbed the heights of Colorado's mountains, and fully engaged life as it came, I live a humble, inactive, estranged life that grinds me up sometimes. I feel very understanding of the author of Psalm 38 with the maladies he describes, and, just like him, I look to God for my deliverance, whether today or when I come into my inheritance. He will be with me through all of this, and in the end, I will have Him! I look forward to that day soon!



PS: Here's some good reading (NIV) (MSG). It's one of my favorite chapters.

Grumble, Grumble, Toil and Trouble

Let's see.

We have one vehicle, namely the van used to carry my wheelchair, down for repairs after it died just before entering the Eisenhower Tunnel (CDOT, Wikipedia). The hills approaching both ends of this tunnel have killed more vehicles than I care to count! Currently, our beloved van sits outside my house while we mull repair versus replacement. Repair is winning, but the price of $4,500.00 is just a bit outside our comfort zone. Anyone got a Chevy 350 small block in their pocket?

The Power of the Pen

It's another night, another weird day in Fibromyalgia. After sleeping through dinner, I went upstairs to sleep in earnest. I couldn't keep my eyes open, so I figured I'd make the best of it. When my wife came to check on me, I had lower back pain that wouldn't go away. I tried massage, I tried stretching, and I tried different towel rolls. Nothing would make it go away enough for me to sleep through until morning. Sitting up somehow makes the pain go away.

Sleep Study Yields Interesting Results

I went in for a sleep study last night. I was a first-time, never-ever sleep studier ...student ...person. I had read up on how they wired a person up like a telephone exchange, so I was prepared for that. I was pleasantly surprised that I had access to Discovery channel, so I watched some Deadliest Catch, a small luxury since we unplugged cable at home. What I dreaded was the effort it took for me to fall asleep on demand, and believe me, it's no small effort for me. I couldn't make it. I felt like I was doing the stuck-in-an-airport doze. No matter what I tried, something would bring me out of it. A noise. An itch. A snore.

Joni Faces A New Test of Faith

This stings a bit. Joni, a woman God has used to be a voice for Christians living with disabilities, has been diagnosed with breast cancer. Please pray for her, her husband Ken Tada, and her ministry. Her video message is at Joni's Corner.

Fatherly Priorities From Early Life

I happened across a good quote today.

"I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich."  - Dan Wilcox 

Before I became a father, before I married my wife, I knew what I wanted. I wanted a loving, kind wife and mother of my children who would love them as much as I would. I wanted a home where we would eat dinner together most every night. I wanted one where we loved each other, and told each other as much, as often as we could stand. I don't mean the "Love ya!" belted out as one leaves for an activity. I mean holding your beloved in an embrace, looking them full in the face, and saying "I love you very much!" I want a family that remembers with fondness all the time we spent with each other. I believe that this is what helps a family grow and produce stable, kind, engaging citizens who have the strength to help others.

My wife, thankfully, was of the same mind and as we've lived, we've made choices in line with that. We saw the busy lives of people who were chasing their tails, trying to have it all. Even if they could have it all--and they couldn't--how could they enjoy it?

To this day, I haven't regretted having set that priority.

Life Around the House

Despite all that we do to keep life simple, sometimes life gets busy and things can't (or won't) slow down. It's been that way since early May. Because of my disability, my family has undertaken a new business. A lot of it involves using our home, and we needed a lot of renovation to make it suitable. We had no way to make the renovations, however. Money was not just tight, it was literally non-existent. Thankfully, an anonymous donor (we have a lot of those, lately!) stepped forward and not only paid for the material, but they brought in friends to help with the renovations! Now we're set up and open for business. All we need now are a few clients.

Memorial Day and graduations filled up late May and early June. Allergies make life fun this time of year. Plus, we've been working on solving a leaky sprinkler system, which is no mean feat when you're living on a shoestring budget with a disability. Old faithful springing up in your yard is never good, especially when you're trying to keep a lawn from dying in the hottest June on record. Thankfully, we have very qualified help who loves my wife's cooking better than his own--cooking, that is!

Speaking of fixing leaks, Wednesday morning, my wife was in the garage when she saw a few drips hanging around, literally. We had a leak inside the house too! A helpful friend, two plumbers and nearly $100 later, we managed to find it. Of course, Farmers insurance company doesn't cover this sort of thing, despite the promise that they would. The fix is not inside a wall like we feared, but it means we can't use a bathroom for at least a few weeks. What fun!

Nonetheless, we're okay, and God continues to watch over us! Thanks for reading, and Happy Father's Day!

The Heart Of A Young Man

My head is full of things tonight. I am under a week away from an appointment that will have significant bearing on aspects about my future, yet I find myself spending less and less time thinking about it. Instead, I find it preoccupied with how marvelous a family I have. My children are amazing. I couldn't have picked better kids if I had the choice and knew exactly what was in each of their hearts. I don't want to gush sentimentality all over, but they each bring me a unique joy and happiness I've never thought possible.

A New Look

After staring at the same layout for so very long, I'm grateful that Blogger has been expanding it's resources a bit and now it feels a bit better. Ever since I was young, I've loved lions and I wanted to keep with it, just change it a bit. So how does it look? For the next month or so, I'll have a poll up here on my blog asking what you think, so let me know! I'll be adding information and more features as time goes on. Thanks for reading!

Recommended Blog: Encouraging Words

I really appreciate this blog by "deni." She and I are in the same boat when it comes to abilities and dependence on God. She and her husband homeschool their children, as we do. Every post, I read what she has to say because more often than not, it encourages me and reminds me of what's important. This most recent one is especially good.

Chronic Pain - Why some doctors don't understand it

I was reading an article about children in chronic pain, when this paragraph popped up. In a moment, it crystallized why the medical community often doesn't understand chronic pain. Here's what it said:

“They don’t get it because I’m not crying and screaming all the time,” she said. “They don’t understand, crying makes it worse, screaming makes it worse, and it doesn’t help anything.

The medical world is used to acute cases of pain. Something that wasn't there yesterday for a person is suddenly presenting itself today. A broken arm feels like there's an elephant standing on it, making the patient hesitant to even let you touch it. A pair of tonsils are white and swollen and making it painful to talk or swallow. A stomach cramp makes a person double over in pain, crying out when it gets worse. That is what they can work on and fix.

Then a person comes in with pain in their head and neck that doesn't respond to the usual treatments. They have come in four times in the last six months, desperate for relief. Yet they look good, just a little tired and mildly agitated. The scans and tests can't find anything wrong. Yet they rate their pain very high, higher than the last guy with the broken arm. So what gives? the doctor thinks. Is it all in their head? Are they making it up? they wonder. This is why some in the medical community write off chronic pain as untreatable and others simply don't know what else to do.

Thankfully, a branch of medicine and alternative therapies are gaining ground in dealing with chronic pain. Pain Management is an interdisciplinary branch of medicine that focuses on treating the patient's pain and maintaining quality of life. While acute pain is often resolved by treating the underlying condition, chronic pain needs to be controlled and managed by a coordinated effort among a team of doctors able to assist with longterm therapies, such as physical therapy, massage therapy, acupuncture, and so on. Some pain is still unmanageable, but the goal is to achieve some form of analgesia, While we have a long way to go, more attention and effort is being directed toward understanding pain, its causes and its effects.

As one who suffers from chronic pain, I'm encouraged by the growth of pain management. My pain is manageable some days and other days, it's not. I ache and moan, but I don't cry much anymore because, like the girl said, it doesn't help and often makes it worse. What helps is loving support from family and friends who understand. If they "get it," it makes a difference in my outlook and my disposition. A solid prayer life and a loving, supportive wife go a long way toward making my pain tolerable.

A Collection of --You Know You're a Homeschool Parent When--

You know you're a homeschooling parent when: (with apologies to Jeff Foxworthy)

• You've had to wake up your tech support 30 minutes after you tucked them into bed for the night because the network crashed before you could grade their work
• Parents compliment your kids, and not you
• The hamster died in the night but the kids already got the coffin, dug the hole and had the service before you could get that vital second cup of coffee and get to the grave side
  

Fire And Ice

I'm working on a couple of longer posts, at least, I'm trying to with pain and fatigue draining any reserves I may have had. Still, while you're waiting, take a look at this amazing footage from the Iceland volcanic eruption.



If you thought that was cool, check out these photographs!

I always liked volcanoes even as a boy in 2nd Grade when I first discovered them in a book. They're so powerful and untamed! I love studying them! Just another big, noisy thing that goes fast (well, at least the lava does at times).

What Matters Is Who He Says I Am

Jim May, whom I have a great deal of respect for, just shared a bunch of quotes in his newsletter. This one I've found it to be true. “The way to conquer rejection is to come to the God of all comfort.”

What does that mean? By coming to the God of all comfort, we exchange someone's judgment about us for Someone Else's. Not only that, but we exchange an imperfect, fallible, limited, faulty, impudent, ignorant, self-satisfied, egregious, arrogant, wretched, wicked, immoral, hateful, stupid, insufficient, imploding, bombastic, furious, putrid, evil, little, shrewish, horrid, demeaning, boring, insolent, witless judgment for a new judgment that's perfect, infallible, unlimited, faultless, prudent, knowledgeable, self-sufficient, exceptional, confident, content, good, moral, loving, wise, sufficient, structured, succinct, peaceful, pure, holy, King-sized, good-tempered, beautiful, valuable, creative, polite and witty. And don't think I didn't drag out the wiktionary on that one!

What does that Someone say about me? If I go by what the Bible says, He says a lot! I am His child, His very own, bought with a price. More than that, "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." Christ lives in me! I don't have to accept what they say about me because I have died! I don't answer to them, because Christ takes my place. In Christ, I am already righteous, already holy.

He also says that I am the temple of the Holy Spirit, the Comforter. I have comfort no human can give me. His Spirit speaks to my spirit and bears witness to the truth. His Spirit shows me life as it can be. Reading Romans 8 in the Message paraphrase gets me all excited!

Who you are as He sees you is vastly better than the highest flattery and praise that anyone else could ever say. The love He has for you is better than a thousand romances. He pursues your heart as a suitor, no matter your race, no matter your gender. He seeks your heart. He wants it with all He has, with all He is. What will you say to Him? Will you give Him your heart? Will you give Him all of it?

That's My King

I love this speech by S.M. Lockridge and the visuals back it up well. On Easter Sunday or any other Monday, that's my King!



And I hope I get to see this painting someday...

Higher Heating Bills For Colorado Guaranteed By Ritter And HB 1365

Rarely do I cross-post between blogs because my personal blog is, well, personal. This time, the issues intersect both blogs. Colorado's Governor Bill Ritter will sign H.B. 1365. This bill  not only will cause the loss of railroad jobs, but it will cause a jump in our home utility bills.

Did the Democrats fail economics? This bill eludes common sense! If the population has less money to spend as a result of just trying to stay warm, it tends to make a recession worse, not better. What's worse, businesses considering adding jobs have to consider that their facility costs are way up, which means they might not expand in Colorado like they might elsewhere.

Ritter has indicated that he will sign this bill. I think Coloradoans need to look at who are the winners and losers on this bill and then drop Governor Ritter a line.

Unwanted: A National Standard For Human Beings

As a father of three home-educated children, I take an active interest in homeschooling and educational issues. I've come to understand that each child is a unique gift from God. Because they're unique, any classification for a child, from school grades to performance grades degrades and even removes their characteristics and abilities. While I can appreciate a need for standards and groupings, this is not something I want to subject my children to.

I believe these folks are working towards a legal way to force me to let them test and classify my children, and I don't think that's right. Here is what I told them in their survey:

A Prince Without A Mattress

There was this old Carol Burnett song from her very early days. You might recognize it if I repeat the first lines, or the chorus, (I forget). It goes,

I've always been SHYYYYY! I confess that I'm SHYYYYY

You might not recognize it because it's from an adaptation of The Princess and the Pea called Once Upon a Mattress. If Mother Goose did not completely bewilder and confuse our childhood years with Jack-Be-Nimble (pyromania is normal, kids) and Jack-and-Jill (vinegar and brown paper is first aid?!), the fairy tales should finish us off, and The Princess and the Pea is a good dose of nonsense. Its time-tested wisdom admonishes us to marry someone who can feel a pea under 20 mattresses and 20 feather beds.

Spring, Sprang, Sprung

Oh, man! Was it a tough winter or what? I can't believe how much of a problem it's been to my condition. Weather-sensitive chronic pain is for the birds!

I have been looking forward to spring like you could never imagine! Yet, even in this, I'm skeptical. Spring is volatile in Colorado. As a foretaste, last week on a day where the high was 64 degrees, the weather service issued a Winter Storm Warning! That evening, though, I could have told you it was a doozy of a storm. It just knocked me down for the ten-count! Until the storm actually arrived, I was miserable! Once it started snowing, I started feeling better.

Then the House passed the medical bill. Well, I was feeling better. Forget spring (and summer). I"m looking forward to November!

Street View For Winter Olympic Trails

It's no secret that I'm a Google Earth nut, but I'm amazed I didn't find this earlier. Street View is available for Winter Olympic trails at the different venues. Here's how they made it.

Mountains, Marmots and Missing My Mobility

You know that a disability is getting the better of you when it invades your dreams. Last night, my wife had her first "walking" dreams where I am walking unaided and feeling fine while I walked with her. I've had several of those dreams in the last few weeks. In one, my daughter was so amazed that I was having no trouble and we were both laughing at how good it felt to just walk! If only it weren't just a dream. If only it was real. But it isn't and I can't control it. 

On reflection, I love and hate my wheelchair. I always have. I love the freedom it gives me (and my family) to go do things when I have the energy. On the other hand, I hate the attention it brings me. I see the people take notice that I'm in a chair, that I'm different from them in a fundamental capacity, and I don't enjoy the feeling. 

Then there are the limitations that come with the chair. For example, I used to climb 14ers. In Colorado, a 14er is a mountain over 14,000 feet ASL. When I was 15, Grays Peak was my first 14er. My dad and I were about 2/3 of the way to the top when I sat down and just listened to the wind (after I caught my breath). Hearing some movement behind us, we turned to see some mountain goats coming down the mountainside right towards us. We held our breath, hoping they would get closer. The largest goat came within ten feet of me and simply lay down on the tundra. My dad came around and got this picture.

We sat there for a while and then they continued on down. We would continue on to the the top and I would then solo on Torreys Peak, all in one day! I was hooked by the time we got down. I would later go on to climb several more 14ers with my last being Mt. Princeton in 1995. 

With my declining health, my ability to get up there is almost non-existant. I say almost because I have ridden the Manitou & Pikes Peak Railroad to the summit house and I could still drive to the summit of Mt. Evans. Unfortunately, using a car limits your ability to truly enjoy the wonderful experiences of seeing the alpine tundra, taking in the myriads of small wildflowers that bloom for a few weeks each summer, and watching the pikas, marmots, and mountain goats in their natural home. Frankly, it's difficult to feel like you're a part of all that when you're sitting in an isolated environment like a car. I've found that the fewer man-made assemblages you take with you, the more real and beautiful the experience becomes.

Speaking of assemblages, while my power chair is great for around the house or neighborhood, it's not an all terrain model (do they even make those?). My chair can't go very far or very high because the trail has to be broad, reasonably level and easy to navigate with six wheels. In effect, everything a hiking trail is not. There are nature paths designed for people with disabilities, yet none seem to go where I want to go: among secluded aspen groves, over the tundra, beside creeks with waterfalls, and next to pristine lakes whose only disturbance is a trout chasing the hatch.. These are places I've been (just in Colorado) that I might not see the likes of again until God heals me. When I consider that such a thing may not come in this age but in the next, that's a hard thing for me to consider. Nevertheless, while I can do certain things to help, the power for my healing does not rest with me, but God. I depend on Him and His power. 

A year ago, I was thinking how much I needed a power chair to get around. Now, I seem to complain about how limited the thing is. I'm so human. I forget that true contentment doesn't come from where I am, what I do, or how I feel. It comes from being in His presence, seeking what He wants, and choosing to live at His place. While I can't control what happens, I can trust the One Who can.

Winter Olympics

Ever since I was a kid watching the Winter Olympics in Sarajevo, I understood the athleticism, stamina and fortitude it took to compete. I was a beginner at skiing, but my brother had already been an "olympic hopeful" contender before damaging his knee. Even watching the alpine downhill with him taught me more about skiing than I could have learned skiing on my own.

Yet, as Kelly Clark says below, you can win every championship and still feel empty. If people love you just because you can fly down the mountain at insane speeds or whip 1080s like they're nothing, you intuitively know that the love is conditional. It will go away when someday you lose the ability to do what you do. That's why a relationship with God looks so good to those who perform for approval.

Haitian Orphans Come Home to Colorado

They're home! They're home! They're home!

Wants And Needs

If we had all we wanted, we wouldn't have what we really needed. God always gives us what we need, not always what we want.

If God Knows Everything, Why Pray?

My wife was feeling very poorly. A pinched nerve had developed into a condition where any movement was very painful. We called up a friend who is gifted in healing and asked if he could come over. He said "Oh, that's why the Spirit was telling me to make dinner for you guys!"

That evening, we sat together over pork chops and yellow rice. The kids had finished early and were playing downstairs, the boys trying out their Nerf swords on each other. As can happen, play fighting turned to real fighting when the blows got too hard or they were taken too personally, and the sword play broke off into other things. That night, as I was tucking my son into bed, his emotions still hadn't really cooled. I walked him through the steps of forgiving the persons in absentia. As I did, I told him that God wanted to hear what had happened and what he felt and why. 

"But God already knows these things, Dad. Why should I tell him what he already knows?" he asked.

"Because He wants relationship with you," I told him. 

"I don't get it."

"Well, why else would we ask God to heal me? He knows I need healing. He knows I want to be healed. But He wants me to come to Him and ask Him." It's the situations we can't handle that drive us to connect with Him, and that's what He wants. He wants to hear how our day was, even though he was there for every millisecond. He loves us and went to the trouble of creating mankind just to risk you saying "yes!" to Him. He wants that daily connection, even hourly connection with your heart. What moves us, moves His heart too. Eventually, it will be that what moves His heart will move us as well. That's relationship. That's love. That's the Kingdom.

Letters from the Field: Obamavilles And The Fruits Of Repentance

Dear Friends,

How are you? How was your Christmas? Mine was incredible! A family stepped forward and offered to help with our Christmas gifts this year, buying nearly everything we wanted and everything we needed. They are a family that dearly wants to hear God's voice in their lives and it excites me to see it.

Have you heard about Obamaville?

The name of the town reminds me of a classic Jimmy Buffet tune, a favorite of my cousin's. This is a real sign of America's Second Great Depression. Iconic pictures of the 1930s tent cities, in some cases called "Hoovervilles," dot the news. Like the early years of the last depression, economic measures designed to slow or even reverse the decline may not be all that helpful and in some cases may actually hurt the economy.

I am no expert, but having a blog means having a point of view. My great friend, Andrew, shares similar circumstances as my own, unable to work because of his physical condition. He told me on New Year's Eve what I had instinctively known and remembered from high school economics. The numerous bailouts the government has engaged in is against the fundamental rule of capitalism. If AIG, et. al, truly failed financially, the government should have let it fail and go into bankruptcy. That's the reason for bankruptcy courts. Procedures exist for failures like that, procedures that might have better served the American people. Instead, the executives are bailed out by the one entity that should have put them in court to defend their actions. This is corruption, plain and simple.

In times like these, it is not enough for us to simply pray that God help the needy and suffering. Nor is it enough to fast, to humble ourselves before God and expect Him to hear us. It requires a fundamental heart change. It requires individual and corporate repentance. It requires what God lays out in Isaiah 58.

Isaiah 58:1-8

(the Message paraphrase)

Tell my people what's wrong with their lives,
     face my family Jacob with their sins!
They're busy, busy, busy at worship,
      and love studying all about me.
To all appearances they're a nation of right-living people—
     law-abiding, God-honoring.
They ask me, 'What's the right thing to do?'
     and love having me on their side.
But they also complain,
     'Why do we fast and you don't look our way?
     Why do we humble ourselves and you don't even notice?'

"Well, here's why:
"The bottom line on your 'fast days' is profit.
You drive your employees much too hard.
You fast, but at the same time you bicker and fight.
You fast, but you swing a mean fist.
The kind of fasting you do
     won't get your prayers off the ground.
Do you think this is the kind of fast day I'm after:
     a day to show off humility?
To put on a pious long face
     and parade around solemnly in black?
Do you call that fasting,
     a fast day that I, God, would like?

"This is the kind of fast day I'm after:

• to break the chains of injustice,
• get rid of exploitation in the workplace,
• free the oppressed,
• cancel debts.

What I'm interested in seeing you do is:

• sharing your food with the hungry,
• inviting the homeless poor into your homes,
• putting clothes on the shivering ill-clad,
• being available to your own families.

Do this and the lights will turn on,
     and your lives will turn around at once.
Your righteousness will pave your way.
The God of glory will secure your passage.
Then when you pray, God will answer.
You'll call out for help and I'll say, 'Here I am.'

If you want to see a change you can believe in, if you want to see God answer prayers, don't just fast and hope that He blesses you. Don't just hunger after God. Model your heart and actions after Him! Engage those around you and work to ease their suffering. If you see injustice, work to end it! If you see your employees hard pressed, stop work until they catch their breath. God does not saddle you with a heavy burden, does he? He does not bicker and fight with you, does he? Can you honestly say you follow Him when you live in ignorance of His most fundamental motives? We may claim to love the Lord God with all our passion and prayer and intelligence and energy, but until we love others as well as we love ourselves, we cannot honestly claim the title Christian, literally "Christ follower."

This is heavy stuff, but God does not pull any punches when we've missed something this elementary. Christians in business cannot place profit above and beyond the humanity and charity God commands from us all. As Marley lamented in A Christmas Carol, "Business! Mankind [should have been] my businesss!" Indeed, Scrooge himself walked in repentance by placing a very human interest in his employee Bob Cratchit and his family. The complaints that socialism and fascism brought against capitalism were very similar to the complaints that the three spirits of Christmas brought to Scrooge, that men in capitalism only enrich themselves by exploiting the working poor. The very reason America was successful in the first place was that men lived by the morality of their faith, putting into practice the charity and kindness that their faith professed. Alexis DeToqueville, in Democracy in America, put it this way,

Despotism may govern without faith, but liberty cannot. How is it possible that society should escape destruction if the moral tie is not strengthened in proportion as the political tie is relaxed? And what can be done with a people who are their own masters if they are not submissive to the Deity?

If we profess freedom, and we do, then we must live by God's morality. Instead of seeking what we can get out of our employees, our "human resources," should we not treat them as good or better than ourselves? This change must start in our hearts, work into our minds, and out through our hands. Obamaville may be a ghost town in years to come, but only if we get the message.

A brother from a different mother,

Steve