Thursday, November 27, 2008

Who I Am Is Not What I Am

Who I am is not what I am.

What I am is disabled. What I am is a writer. What I am is a failure. What I am is a success. A provider, a dependant, the list goes on. What I am comes from what describes me, what I do, and what happens to me. What I am is not who I am.

Who I am is a son. Who I am is a father. Who I am is a brother. Who I am is a husband. Most importantly, I am a child of God who is loved by Him without any regard of what I am or what happened or will happen to me. Who I am is loved.

(Happy Thanksgiving!)

Who I Am Is Not What I Am

Who I am is not what I am.

What I am is disabled. What I am is a writer. What I am is a failure. What I am is a success. A provider, a dependant, the list goes on. What I am comes from what describes me, what I do, and what happens to me. What I am is not who I am.

Who I am is a son. Who I am is a father. Who I am is a brother. Who I am is a husband. Most importantly, I am a child of God who is loved by Him without any regard of what I am or what happened or will happen to me. Who I am is loved.

(Happy Thanksgiving!)

Friday, November 21, 2008

My Daughter Is Mighty In Spirit

My wife and I have recently been struggling to learn how to work with our youngest child, a daughter who is “mighty in spirit. ” What Dobson called the strong-willed child seems to manifest in our daughter’s personality several times a day. She reminds me so much of myself at that age! I had an intensely strong personality with my own preferences and mandates. My reaction to authority was best expressed through the title of a book I ran across a couple of years ago, titled You Can’t Make Me, But I Can Be Persuaded. Things worked best for me when I understood my options and I was allowed to make my choice. That didn’t always happen.

Violations of my independence were met with strong, sometimes violent resistance. As a result, elementary school had to be one of the most frustrating, torturous experiences I’ve ever endured. It made such an impression that it figured into my reasoning behind our decision to homeschool our children. If there is one objective for elementary school besides the obvious education factor, it is to remold young minds to be docile and easily lead. Why else is there pressure to fit in, to follow instruction without question, to do everything the same way as everyone else? Like thousands of other strong-willed children, my struggles with such institutionalized brainwashing nearly destroyed me. My teachers had labeled me unintelligent, frustrating, stubborn, disruptive, irresponsible, and lots of other things. It took me until my mid-20s to begin to figure out why I had struggled so much.

Strong-willed children have such strength for a very good reason. If they survive childhood, and if they are given what they need, they will be very strong, capable leaders. They will know right and wrong, and they will choose wisely. Their road is not an easy one, nor will they always be right. But they can learn, think and respond as well as—if not better than—their peers. I’m so glad my youngest doesn’t have to go through the pain that I went through to find that out. We can work with her and help her learn how to respond to those challenges. She can learn at home where her independence and creativity can be nourished, not stifled. She will make mistakes and she will learn the consequences, but she will not be devalued or rejected. She has a bright future; all we need to do is help her choose it.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Spam Changes Shape But Not Substance

I think as long as we have the internet, we will have some form of spam out there that drives us nuts. Have you ever run into blog spam? As the owner of a blog, I’ve run into comment spam, which is where a spammer leaves a comment on your blog that is completely unrelated to your post and advocates some action like clicking a link or visiting a site. Everyone knows about the other kind of spam that gets into your e-mail. I even know some who have tasted the original Spam meat product.

Blog spam is an odd little thing in that it just sits out there on a little-known website address, usually on a free blog site like blogger.com. It contains words and key phrases designed to trick Google and other search engines to direct you to their site. If you use Google Alerts, Google will let you know about this great new web site that just came out with the words you asked it to look for. Only when you get to the site do you realize that you’re a victim of blog spam.

Ironically, these blogs use Ads By Google and other pay-by-impression advertisements to boost their hit counts. That’s how they make their money. Marketing is a game of percentages. They know that if they can get even the slightest percentage of Google searches for a particular phrase, they will make money. It doesn’t matter to them what you’re looking for. If they can get you to their site, that’s all that matters.

The spammers who set this stuff up know that they are violating the terms of service agreement for the free blog. In most cases on Blogger, the spammer has removed the Nav Bar at the top that allows site visitors (also known as spam victims) to flag the blog for review by Blogger. There is a way around that of course, but it takes three or four clicks, some searching, some reading, and some typing to make it happen. Only people like me who have a little time and are committed to fighting spammers would go to the trouble it takes to report the abuse. For that small, hardy band of spam blammers ("blam" as in explosion), the steps to report a Blogger or BlogSpot spammer are at the end of this post.

This is going to become a bigger problem. I hate to sound so “positive,” but I’m pretty sure it’s going to happen. Although this can be stopped on so many levels from the search engine to the hosting site to the unfortunate victims, public outcry and frustration will have to rival the congressional brouhaha over e-mail spam a few years back in order to get the attention it needs. Until then, search engines will continue to get clogged with useless links, and people will get frustrated by irrelevant search results.

To report a Blogger spammer
  1. Find the URL (the http://... in your address bar)
  2. Highlight and copy the URL to the clipboard. It must have from the http to the .com part to give them a good URL
  3. Visit this page to report a Blogger.com terms of service violation. This will only apply to bloggers who are on the blogger.com or blogspot.com domain.
  4. Click the circle next to Spam (click here to learn what Blogger considers a spam blog)
  5. Click Continue
  6. In the form that comes up, paste the URL in the blank.
  7. Click Submit.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

A Battle Of Wills

Sometimes the older I get, the simpler my problems become. I set my eyes on some worthy thing, some tantalizing goal, and all my heart is set upon it. In nearly every case, I have found that it is folly to chase after it. It seems as if God himself is bent against me attaining or obtaining what I desire. The frustrating part, of course, is that I asked God to do it. I asked God to do it when I told him that I wanted his will for my life. Isn’t that insane? But it’s true! I can’t help it. Something inside me desires to see God’s will manifest in my life.

The problem is, I don’t know when I’m placing my own will above God’s. My own will slips into the driver’s seat of my life and suddenly I’m out of control. I’m about to "Kato"* and God is nowhere to be seen. At least, that used to be the case. God seems to have moved me from the freeway to the Disneyland Autopia, where the worst that can happen is a bumper thumper. It seems it’s easier to hear his Holy Spirit as well. And if there’s hope for me…

Tonight, my wife and I were talking about whether I should go to Denver for a hobby show. My disability can sometimes prevent me from driving, especially when the pain is too much of a distraction. The key word is sometimes. Sometimes makes it difficult plan. Sometimes seems to show up at the worst times. If I get to Denver, will I be able to drive back? The only insurance against this is to drive with another driver, in which case I’m redundant anyway. Isn’t this fun? It’s all part of life with a disability.

I decided to pray about it, I didn’t get any clear answer like I usually do. So, I decided to inquire of the Lord to understand the meaning of his abstinence in answering, and I said, "What?!" The question I got in my mind was, "Steve, are you resting in me?" As usual, his answer had two distinct applications. First, unless I am resting in God’s peace, it is very difficult for me to hear him. Second, resting in God is impossible without submitting my will to his.

Then he told me, "Where you go will not make you happy." How many personal fortunes have been both amassed and wrecked, how many empires have both risen and fallen because of the belief that going someplace or possessing something will bring happiness? Lucky for me, it didn't cost me the gas money this time.

Then he gave me the kicker: "I will not give you what you want until you decide you do not want it."

For a lot of people, that may just seem like double talk. But in this case, he was using it to illustrate a point with me. He will not give me what my will wants until I decide first to place my will under his will, until I choose that I first want what he wants for me. Until I am choosing his will first, I am going to meet with frustration. If I'm going to be his child, if I'm going to bear the name of Christ, I'd better be submitted to the One Whose name I bear.

Unless God tells me to go, I am not going to Denver. Heaven and earth don't hang in the balance, just my money for gas, the rent of a wheelchair, and some food on the way. This time, it could've been a bumper thumper. Next time, it might be a Kato. I'm strapping my will into the passenger seat with duct tape this time.

*Kato is a rocketry term for "Catastrophic wreck"

Monday, November 3, 2008

Exceeding Abundantly

Did you ever have an experience where you were just available. and God used you for something that you never expected but always had hoped?

In the days of high school, I was assigned to write a short story. I went with what I knew. The plot was transparent, and the pacing was slow. In the end, the peer-review of my story confirmed my fear: I would never be a writer, and I certainly could never be taken seriously in a fiction endeavor.

Then one morning, I woke up early and wrote Escaping the Homeschooling Matrix. My heart had been burdened for my wife and so many others who were facing the awesome and fear-laden burden of homeschooling their children. I saw them trapped, pinned inside of an artificial box. I knew they could escape, but I didn't know that I held one of the answers until I was actually done with the story.

Then later that morning, someone read my post and sent it to a friend who liked it so much, they wanted to publish it in their magazine, The Old Schoolhouse. Fast forward to today, where the story appears here. Wow! I am really amazed at the incredible graphics! I'm grateful they've invested so much into the story!

From this, I've learned that God will use you if you make yourself available and willing to be used in the way He wants to use you. Sometimes you have to wait a few years, but don't quit asking!

And to all those moms (and dads) out there that have read my story, thanks! I pray God uses it to make your homeschooling experience what He wants it to be. Matthew 11:28-30 "My yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

Putting the Class in "Class of 2009"

Check out this story from Denver's 9News.com. A teacher who is paralyzed from the waist down desperately needs a van to avoid shoulder surgery. What does the senior class at Fossil Ridge High School do? I mean, they're just a bunch of kids.



Never let who you are keep you from doing all that you can.

Random Thoughts About "Falling Back"

I never "fall back," but I do "spring forward." I've saved so much time, I might never die.

I asked the bank what I should do with extra daylight savings and they told me to put it where the sun doesn't shine. I thought it sounded like a good idea too.

Arizona is saving year 'round now. I guess they don't trust their daylight banks like we do here.

I made a withdrawal once from my DS Bank, but I tripped out in the parking lot. Let's just say a few people got to work on their tans due to my generosity. I betcha that dermatologist across the way gets a lot of local business.

Of course, all this saving doesn't help my financial situation, but it does help me tip folks. I tell them, here's a little sunshine for you, and then I let them have it. People are usually happier for it. Except that albino. He wasn't impressed, or happy.

They Need To Know What Happened To Prof. Dalsted

I don't think it's coincidence that Veterans' Day comes roughly a week after Election Day each year. Norm Dalsted, professor at Colorado State University, tells a story each semester to his economics class students. It's something they need to hear. "I think they need to know what happened," he says in an interview with Denver's 9News. What happened is he served in 1968 in Vietnam. He served his country, and he fought alongside friends who died for this country.



And dare I add, the right for people to vote. Exporting democracy means nothing if we don't exercise it ourselves.

I'm thanking a vet in person before next Tuesday the 11th.