Suffering By Comparison

One of the best ways to judge performance is by comparison. It’s also one of the worst mistakes a Christian can make when judging their progress. It is so easy to look at our friends or even our acquaintances we meet at church and make comparisons with our own lives. And unfortunately, it’s totally wrong. The problem is twofold.

First, we believe we are working with accurate data when we’re actually not. We judge things by appearances. That nice, neatly dressed family that sits in front of you at church seems to have it all together. We have a hard time seeing past the veneer and realizing that they have their struggles just like we do. The pastor’s family has their issues too. People are not all that willing to share their human frailties because they instinctively cover and guard themselves from other’s scrutiny. As a result, the polished image of others is all we usually see and we make the leap from seeing our own faults to believing that we are specially flawed. While some have it more together than others, no one has it all together and no one can make an accurate judgment about whether someone else has it all together because they don’t see everything. Only God knows everyone’s faults and strengths. Only God can judge rightly every time.

The second part of the problem is more complex. We assume that everyone faces the same problem set. We believe that the Christian walk is the same for everyone. While we may use the same gate of Jesus’ unblemished sacrifice on the cross to enter the kingdom, the roads both to and from the crossing of Jesus Christ are as varied as the people who travel them. Making comparisons is impossible because no one has gone over the same exact road, living the same exact experiences. Our problem comes when we move from relating with others to drawing comparisons between how we acted in one situation and how others handled their own situations. It is the classic analogy of apples to oranges. Situations have similarities, but each one is unique and different. There’s no way to make an accurate, side-by-side comparison.

They overcame [the accuser] by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony

Revelation 12:11a

Our testimony is not simply our story of how we got to the cross, but our journey afterward. It is the narrative that describes God’s active role in our lives. It has similarities for some, but in every case, it is unique. Making a comparison between testimonies is beneficial only for marveling at the wondrous variety of ways in which God works with people. We cannot use it as a basis for judging progress or strength. God is the only capable judge of such things, and so our only focus should be on his perception of us. In the end, that’s the only judgment that matters.

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Hebrews 12:2

But my eyes are fixed on you, O Sovereign LORD; in you I take refuge—do not give me over to death.

Psalm 141:8

We have only one person whose opinion about us truly matters. It is God Himself. If we set out to please ourselves by comparing our lives to others, we are under a delusion of bad facts and poor judgment, suffering the consequences and failing the real test. Only God matters, and he works by a system he spells out in his Word, the Bible, not by our standards. If we learn this, we will avoid a lot of heartache and disillusion and we will enjoy the fruits God wants us to have.