A Collection of --You Know You're a Homeschool Parent When--

You know you're a homeschooling parent when: (with apologies to Jeff Foxworthy)

• You've had to wake up your tech support 30 minutes after you tucked them into bed for the night because the network crashed before you could grade their work
• Parents compliment your kids, and not you
• The hamster died in the night but the kids already got the coffin, dug the hole and had the service before you could get that vital second cup of coffee and get to the grave side
  
• Answering "They're homeschooled," tends to cut through a lot of time explaining. 
• It also tends to lead people to believe you're superhuman, super smart, or can tie your shoelaces without getting lost
• Your children complain that their friends have stopped talking to them--not because of some vicious rumor or petty fight, but because their friends simply started college while your children are supposed to wait 2 years until they're old enough
• Your children can spot an actor, a musician or a composer for a piece of work that they did, but you're still wondering whether there was a fifth Beatle. 
• The pediatrician actually delays his other appointments to spend time chatting with your kids because they seem to really enjoy the conversation
• You wake up late with a headache because music class was a late night jam session that started when the kids were putting dishes away and kept going from there
• You're willing to table all other subjects until tomorrow because your child has had an "a-ha!" moment and you're riding the momentum
• You are so glad your kids don't spell relief "R_E_C_E_S_S"
• Your parents ask you when your child is going to publish a book
• ...and you e-mail them the PDFs of their three latest online novels. 
• ...and you're wondering if that was such a good idea
• The funny name you read in History is now the punchline to a joke
• There is nothing all that magical about the first of June.
• The tricks you use to help involve the kids in housework are now being used by your kids to dupe the younger ones into doing all the work
• The income from their cottage business has officially beat the income from your first three jobs combined
• The game of Trivial Pursuit isn't all that fun anymore.