Carpe Dad-em

"Daddy, will you come and play trains with me?"

Those were nine words spoken to me the day before by my 3 year old daughter, asking me to peel my eyes from the screen in front of me for a little time together with her. I had a few good excuses to postpone her invitation. My back hurt, for one. It was not a good day for me with my fibromyalgia that day either and moving would hurt more. But about then, my daddy-sense picked up and asked me,

"Do you want to put this off until she's too old to play? How many more times to play trains with her will you have?"

There really wasn't any response to that question except carpe dad-em. I got up and I clambered down the steps and grunted and ached as I built a railroad for her. Was it worth the pain? I only need to look into my daughter's eyes to know that it was. Like my pastor says, "Love is spelled, T-I-M-E." My relationship with her is richer and much more capable of withstanding the trouble it encounters through the day when she does what all 3 year-olds do sometimes and needs correction. We can recover much quicker when she knows that she matters to me. Kids instinctively judge what value they hold with us as parents. Don't ask me how. They just do. It's part of the way kids bond with us.

I want my kids, all of my kids, to remember that I was there for them, that they mattered to me. I don't want my kids saying, "My dad loved us, but his disability kept him from doing anything with us." Do I mind that I can't go rock climbing with my son or teach my daughter to ski? Yeah, I mind a lot. That doesn't mean I give up or stop trying to get better. I'm going to find ways I can connect with them more. I just have to look harder and think creatively.

That's what dads like me have to do.