A discussion this morning with my 11 year old daughter fit the last piece of a puzzle that I've been working on for a few days now. Another piece came along last night listening to Joyce Meyer. I'll do my best to summarize the conclusions I have.
What we think is determined by whatever we choose to believe. Most people don't understand this. We can choose to believe whatever we want to believe. I can choose to believe that my happiness depends on the decision of another person. If that person says yes, I will be happy. If they say no, I will be sad. By choosing to believe this, I place my happiness in the hands of another person. I may not realize it, but I've surrendered my personal sovereignty, my ability to act independent of another person. It logically follows that what we choose to think directs the way we act, and how we act changes our future.
Here in Colorado, we have over 52 mountain peaks that are higher than 14,000 feet above sea level. Before my disability, I loved to climb these mountains. Each one of these mountains is a personal challenge to one's body and one's soul. Most of them may be climbed in one day, but the earlier you start, the better off you are because of weather. The summer climbing season is also Colorado's monsoon season, and afternoon thunderstorms can turn a beautiful climb into a nightmare. Lightning from these storms claims lives of climbers every year. Experienced mountaineers must recognize the signs preceding thunderstorms, and heed their warning. It is tempting, especially for inexperienced climbers, to proceed regardless of the warning and take a chance on the weather. This is mostly because they have chosen to believe that their happiness depends on successfully reaching the top. This mistake can be deadly.
By believing my happiness depends on another person, I am doing the same thing as taking a chance on the weather, something totally out of my control and something that could change very easily. I believe that this is why most people don't have stability in their lives.
Additionally, this is a tremendous burden for me to place on the other person to carry. This leads to my selfish nature trying to control the other person (or people) in my life. I will place my own emotions ahead of the other person's benefit. This runs entirely contrary to the godly, self-sacrificing love that God has called us to.
My daughter asked me this morning, if putting our happiness on another person is foolish and and leads to selfish behavior, what should we put our happiness on? My advice to her was to put it on something that doesn't change, or at least cannot easily change. Since things in this world change, we should look toward the eternal, specifically our relationship with God through Christ. You'll notice that I didn't say how we feel about our relationship with God through Christ. That changes. Our relationship itself never changes because it's based on God's grace, not on our feelings or our actions. I should say, however, that God does hold back or withdraw from us when we do something to grieve God. You will not meet a more miserable Christian than one who is in love with God and yet in a situation that grieves His heart.
Certainly, it's difficult to make the transition, and I'm not sure of all the steps involved. But I do know that this is a much better way to live than my old life. Basing it on the grace given to me by Jesus Christ gives me much more stability and freedom to give to others. It's what I need and what I want.
2 comments:
That sure makes me think! Hey, I left you something over on my blog....come see!
Very insightful post. It's not something that I would have seen many years ago, but I've had a few up-close-and personal experiences along those lines and can see how selfish and demanding it is to make someone else's responses the key to happiness.
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