Introspection is a good thing. I have intentionally avoided writing personal stuff lately because stress from the holidays always distorts things and Christmas is usually a time for me to remember the past and enjoy the present. Particularly, Christmas night after the family has left and our kids are in bed is a time where I just take a deep breath and exhale. It’s a soft landing after the flight through the days leading up to Christmas.
I also have been struggling to get our family’s Christmas letter together. Yes, this year it is truly late. It’s been difficult to write this year and I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s because I’m hoping that a few things we’re waiting on will come through in time for me to put it in the letter. Maybe it’s because I still struggle with the path God has chosen for me. I didn’t choose to be disabled, yet God has seen fit to put me here. I’m learning, slowly, how God can use me in a very intimate way with my family. They need me more than a career ever could. I’m learning that many of the good “dad-ly” things that I want to emulate do not truly pivot on providing for my family. Earning an income does not help me know my son’s heart, nor does it offer me greater insight on my daughters’ thoughts. Nor has my disability affected my heart and who I am to my children. I am still the same father inside that I was before I became unable to work full time. I still love them just as deeply, if not more. I am who I am in Christ, not who the government or society or church says I am.
My name is Steve Walden and I have a unique and wonderful family that loves me for who I am. Therefore, I am the richest man in the world.
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