Sunday, December 30, 2007

Safety First

I know. It's been a few days since I've posted. I've been doing a lot of prayer and contemplation these days about where I'm at and what's going on. This isn't too uncommon, especially around this time of year. Retreat, rethinking, re-evaluating, whatever you want to call it, it's going to take me a little more time.

In the meantime, those who know me best know that I've got a thing for railroads. I happened across this Santa Fe "Safety First" poster recently and saw that it crosses over to what I usually post here.


It's not commonly known that railroads were among the first companies to put in a systematic approach to worker safety. Safety First was started in 1912 in response to state liability laws beginning to hold them accountable for employee deaths and injuries while on the job. Before that, it wasn't uncommon for a larger railroad to kill 100 men in a single year in accidents. One of the first reasons employers found to encourage a safety mindset in their working men was there at home every night. "Remember the little ones" was all the reason men needed to take the extra precautions to save their lives and limbs. This campaign, along with the implementation of the automatic coupler, drastically reduced casualties and Safety First can still be seen in maintenance buildings and workrooms of today's railroads.

Remember the little ones... works for me.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Introspectacle

Introspection is a good thing. I have intentionally avoided writing personal stuff lately because stress from the holidays always distorts things and Christmas is usually a time for me to remember the past and enjoy the present. Particularly, Christmas night after the family has left and our kids are in bed is a time where I just take a deep breath and exhale. It’s a soft landing after the flight through the days leading up to Christmas.

I also have been struggling to get our family’s Christmas letter together. Yes, this year it is truly late. It’s been difficult to write this year and I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s because I’m hoping that a few things we’re waiting on will come through in time for me to put it in the letter. Maybe it’s because I still struggle with the path God has chosen for me. I didn’t choose to be disabled, yet God has seen fit to put me here. I’m learning, slowly, how God can use me in a very intimate way with my family. They need me more than a career ever could. I’m learning that many of the good “dad-ly” things that I want to emulate do not truly pivot on providing for my family. Earning an income does not help me know my son’s heart, nor does it offer me greater insight on my daughters’ thoughts. Nor has my disability affected my heart and who I am to my children. I am still the same father inside that I was before I became unable to work full time. I still love them just as deeply, if not more. I am who I am in Christ, not who the government or society or church says I am.

My name is Steve Walden and I have a unique and wonderful family that loves me for who I am. Therefore, I am the richest man in the world.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

God Presents His Omnipresence With His Presents

We've been going through some stressful times with regard to our income and what God has planned. In particular, our daughter has been very anxious and pensive over the coming weeks. We've been working with her, but I think God is getting through to her.

This evening, she remarked at dinner about how she would soon be using her Tinkerbell calendar. My son, the football fanatic, said, "Oh man! Now I know what I want: a Broncos calendar!" When I heard that, God directed me to an opportunity that made my heart jump. I went to my hiding place, got something and then returned.

"Remember how we told you how God knows our wants and needs and provides for us? Son, look," and I held up the Broncos calendar. "God was in the future when he saw your request, and He directed me to this calendar last week. Don't you think that if God can do this for a calendar, that he can do it for a mortgage or anything else we need?"

I think that was worth giving a gift a few days early.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

No Blank Slate For Babies?

Early education fascinates me. I'm not sure why it does, but I often wonder at the how's and why's of development. The Cate's of Why Homeschool posted about a study from Yale that showed that 100% of six month-olds and 87.5% of 10 month-olds picked a toy recently associated with a "Good Samaritan" role in a video. The controls and results all seem valid to me, and it has significant implications regarding the "on-board" morality of pre-verbal children. They actually appear to have a preference toward objects that are cooperative and selfless.

These findings seem to erode the tabula rosa theory that insists children are born with a blank slate and learn everything from environmental factors. Could we be born with a pre-disposition toward valuing cooperation and selflessness? Do we have a moral center at birth or even before? This study seems to indicate so.

Monday, December 17, 2007

Logan, The SkyAngel Cowboy

A friend of mine sent me this video. What else can you say? If I were his parent, I would be so proud of this boy.

God understands. He always will understand. This boy, probably not even 14, goes out and meets God in his pasture. He talks with Him and he hears Him.

As a dad, this is what I've been trying to cultivate in my own son. I want him to be hungry to hear God. I want him to seek God's company first before anything else. Whether it's letting the Bible speak to him or hearing that still small voice of the Holy Spirit, it is what I want him to seek and to crave. He already hears God's voice and listens to Him, and God shows him things. Seeing this happen makes me realize that this is what being a dad is all about.

Maybe this verse explains it best.

Saturday, December 15, 2007

LWW: Chapter II - What Lucy Found There

Tea and Fauns Who Drink It
I have C. S. Lewis to thank for my early introduction to the English ritual of tea. Proper tea is not just the actual tea. It is scones, small sandwiches, crackers and spread and smoked goodies and whatever else happens to be available. It is a fourth meal in a world that only has room for three. Coffee has been condensed into a drive-thru at Starbucks or an hour-old pot sitting on a counter, whereas tea makes you sit and wait while it steeps before you can enjoy it. High tea really is a fourth meal and if you leave feeling less than full, you've done it wrong.

Tea also has a certain mysticism about it. It was cultivated in the far east and brought back for consumption by those who could afford blends with exotic sounding names like Assam, Dimbuta, Nilgiri and Darjeeling. It also is the source for my favorite quote from Toy Story, by Buzz Lightyear (who just found out he was only a toy): "One minute you're defending the whole galaxy, and, suddenly, you find yourself sucking down Darjeeling with Marie Antoinette... and her little sister."

Today, I enjoy green tea as it helps alleviate my Fibromyalgia symptoms. While I drink it for the curative powers, humans and--as luck would have it--polite fauns drink it as a way to be social and hospitable.

Tumnus introduces himself to Lucy and he's unsure at first what to do when he learns that she's a human girl. We find out later that he has general instructions from the White Witch to kidnap any humans he finds and bring them to her. Tumnus slips into the role of "traitor" with only a moment's hesitation. He almost says, "That is to say, delighted ...if we weren't under the curse and control of the White Witch, who, by the way, wants to kill you." That's an awkward way to start off a conversation. He doesn't want Lucy's friendship at all at first. He immediately begins luring her back to his cave to feed her and put her to sleep to kidnap her. Because she's from an age where anyone with manners would be assumed to have wholesome intentions, Lucy believes the faun. She's innocent, trusting and more filled with wonder than fright in this new land.

Jack's description of the cave is the antithesis of what we would call a cave. Where all the caves I've been in are cold, dank and dark, this one is immediately cozy and warm with rugs, a fire, furniture and bookcases filled with strange titles like,"Is Man a Myth?" It gives explanation for the fright Tumnus has. He meets Lucy with the same composure as we would if we were to meet Sasquatch or the Loch Ness monster.

Tumnus tells her tales of Narnia that is really our only indication in this book of what Narnia once was before the spell of the White Witch. He is quite nostalgic over the memories he has. The author draws from Greco-Roman mythology as well as the mythology used by his friend, J.R.R. Tolkien.

Tumnus then plays a flute for Lucy and uses an enchantment to put her to sleep. Lewis never lets us know how successful he is in doing so because he plays it from Lucy's point of view, and she is never aware that she is enchanted, merely that she was there for what must have been hours and then she shook herself. It could be that Tumnus allowed Lucy to awaken or it may have been Aslan's intervention, as the recent LWW movie implies. At any rate, Tumnus is overcome with regret and contrition as he comes to realize that humans are harmless and how his betrayal of such a harmless being is reprehensible and vile.

We see from Lucy's point of view when Tumnus reveals his treachery to her. She is horrified at the prospect of such a sinister action and Tumnus is redeemed by his risking his life to return Lucy to her world. Realizing that the White Witch's power extends throughout Narnia turns a bright and snowy land to a cruel, cold world. Lucy's escape is a breathless one.

Of Fauns And Men
Again, Lewis brings so much in such a short time. The world of Narnia is implied to have an economy (the parcels Tumnus carries), publishers and authors (because of the books in his cave), teachers and sciences (school and geography), family history and other structures similar to our world, and yet none of it is ever seen in LWW and very little elsewhere in the Chronicles of Narnia. It's not essential to the story, so I think Jack included it to make Tumnus much more "human" so we would later feel Lucy's urgency in trying to rescue Tumnus from the clutches of the witch.

Additionally, most folks, even children can relate to a trust betrayed or even a betrayal. It's the first of two betrayals, both in the favor of the White Witch. Jack wants us to revile her from the start. She is evil and rules by evil means. Jack would never do this to a human, so he makes her unhuman to compliment her inhumanity. But that's for later chapters.

Please comment with what you think.

What Kind Of God Does This?

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be your name
We sang this song at a memorial service for a 6 year-old girl two years ago. She was playing one day and in less than 24 hours, she was dead. She died of an invisible defect no one could have guessed with the symptoms she presented. There was no one at fault; she simply died.

We were angry, confused, and deeply grieved. Yet God was still God and the same One that loved us so desperately that he let His Son be tortured and then crucified also chose to allow our hearts to be wounded and He took that little girl away from two loving parents and a community of friends. We worshiped that God. We still do.

There are some situations in life where you are forced to believe that God has some greater purpose in mind, some greater good that He chooses when he allows His children to be killed. If this planet is all there is, then the death of good people and the death of innocents makes no sense whatsoever. On the other hand, if this planet is merely an opening movement to a larger piece of music, then the silencing of a note here and there has meaning.

As I think back on the shootings a week ago, I remember that this time last week, we still had four notes with us that are now gone from the page. The loss and the grieving of those around them are still fresh and extremely painful. Yet most of them have chosen to continue to praise the same God that allowed their loved ones to be taken from them. Not everyone can do this, but the strength and beauty of those who do is overwhelming.

God is there.

He's with the tears of the victims' families. He's with the grief-stricken sobs of the murderer's parents. He's there through all the heartache and brokenness. He cries with those who mourn. He sits in stony silence with those who can't cry another tear. He is there. He alone knows the depth of a person's loss. He alone feels the heartache with each parent, every sibling and every friend. He sits in the ashes with those who say, "You give and take away. Blessed be your name." We praise that God.

Letting God Work

Here's an encouraging follow-up to this week's shootings in Colorado. Click.

Friday, December 14, 2007

Caffiene-Crazed Clerk Clobbers Criminal

Dustin Hoffman* clocks criminal with coffee cup, causes contusion while criminal clears cash from collection. Click.

*not the actor, the Dunkin Donuts clerk. Please stop calling, Mr. Hoffman.

PS: It's Friday and it's been a long week. I had to have some fun. And no, I didn't use a thesaurus. By the way, here's some of the best warnings from 2007. Warning: Avoid Death sounds like a winner to me.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

LWW Chapter I - Lucy Looks into a Wardrobe

Wasting Little Time With Exposition
Jack has a great grasp of the children of his time. Lucy's scared of the odd-looking professor and Edmund wants to laugh at him. Peter and Susan know better and act it. Additionally, Jack wastes no time telling us what kind of children they are and uses their reactions to the story's set-up (the old house, the rain keeping them indoors, etc.) to tell us what kind of children they are. Jack also helps those outside of English culture by describing the house well enough that most people get the feel of the old English manors that were expanded room upon room without central hallways and without much of a overall plan, i.e., "...three steps down and five steps up."

How Lucy finds the wardrobe in the first place also tells her personality. Young children can be painfully curious and interest in fur coats is (or was) very natural for children. The progression is natural for the supernatural discovery of an entire world within a wardrobe and she controls her curiosity enough to remember to keep an eye on her way back out to the world she came from.

Jack's description of Tumnus is incredibly helpful for those who don't have much experience with mythology. Most children don't, anyway and it makes the rest of the story approachable, even when full descriptions aren't always given. The biggest obstacle in a series is usually the end of the first chapter of the first book. His closing of the first chapter offers such an interesting encounter that it soars easily over that obstacle and passes it like it's not even there.

Bigger On the Inside
One of the recurring elements in the Chronicles is with us from the first chapter. The assumption of a physical impossibility, of something being larger on the inside than it is on the outside, is one of the mysteries that leads to the first conflict (Lucy vs. the other children). No rational person would believe such an impossibility, yet it is the primary way Lewis establishes Narnia. The later difference in the passage of time contributes to the impossibility and yet it helps establish Lucy's credibility in Chapter V. Taking some things in life by faith, no matter how impossible they may be, is something Lewis isn't shy about introducing, even this early on in the book.

Reflections on Chapter I
I get a sort of giddy anticipation with this first chapter that I don't often see with other books. You want to finish the scene with Lucy and Tumnus and then you realize you've only read eight pages! Why not go a few more--please! It's also easy to find myself almost wishing that new worlds were just around the corner or in the closet behind the stairs. And I already feel like smacking Edmund across the face.

Feel free to chime in or at least read along with me.

Introducing... Into Narnia

It's been on my mind a long time now to do a series of posts based on The Chronicles of Narnia. C. S. Lewis has always been my favorite writer, ever since my father began reading the Chronicles to my sisters and I after dinner. Jack--as his friends called him--had a superb grasp of the ways God has revealed Himself to us. With my learning disability, his was one of the few books I could read without losing heart. I think that's because Jack and I both hated the schools we were subjected to and I found the characters so relatable. While The Chronicles of Narnia were his most well-known works, I have also read some of his other non-fiction works. Mere Christianity seems to be my favorite; it's one of the few theological books that really set the record straight on man's relationship with God.

Anyway, The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe (LWW) is my first and favorite of the Chronicles and its there that I will begin in a few hours.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Children's Eyes

I need to look at life through my daughter more. We were looking out the window at the snow falling last night and she said, "It looks like the snow is pouring out of the streetlight!" Sure enough, it did.

The other day, we had fog when we were leaving the house and she said, "Oh! It's blurry out!" Back when her older sister was the same age, she noted, "It's froggy out there." I'm not sure which I like more.

God gives us the gift of children to remind us of the holy wonder of creation. May we never take them for granted.

It All Comes Down To The Relationship

Since yesterday morning, we've learned that the shooter was Matthew Murray, and the heroic guard who brought him down was Jeanne Assam, a former police officer. Murry and the two slain by him in Colorado Springs were all homeschooled and lived in Denver. That's where the similarities end.

Murray was spiraling toward death in a most radical manner. As WorldNetDaily reports, Murray shook up a YWAM Christmas program with songs Marilyn Manson and Linkin Park. His parents and YWAM leaders agreed to remove him from the trip. Murray began to descend into a mental and spiritual state that most Christians would associate with demonic possession. He would "roll around in bed and make noises. He would say, 'Don't worry, I'm just talking to the voices'." His fits of rage and flaming vitriol mirror Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold, the killers in the Columbine shooting only miles from Murray's home.

Conversely, it seems that Stephanie Works, 18, and Rachael Works, 16, the sisters he killed in Colorado Springs were living a godly, Christian life of ministry and love. They are mourned by family and friends who had so much to say about the victims' lives and are thoroughly convinced that it was because of their relationships with Jesus Christ. I expect that the same can be said of most of Murray's other victims, both living and dead. Murray had nothing but rage and contempt for those who embraced their faith. Murray rejected the God his victims embraced. That's the fundamental difference. The rest of it: YWAM, the rage, the parenting, the music and the outcome all pivot on Murray's relationship with God, or the lack of it.

Since I'm a homeschooling father, I need to weigh in on the homeschool aspect of this tragedy. Homeschooling is not a cure-all for behavioral problems, nor is it solely responsible for Murray's descent. It is a tool that parents use to help their children and it can be used well or used poorly. The cases I've seen where a homeschooler has gone nuts are far fewer than those educated in classes. Yet even in those rare cases where it's a homeschooler perpetrating the crime, it seems that the parents took an imbalanced approach to homeschooling. The children are made to study in isolation with the emphasis resting on one or two texts exclusively, such as the Bible and/or an encyclopedia. I'm not sure if this is the case with Murray, but it wouldn't surprise me if it is. Additionally, the Works sisters seemed to be in a balanced homeschool environment, with several friends each who they involved in their lives and a broader experience than what most class schooled children and youth experience. Healthy homeschooling is not focused on keeping children isolated from everything that could possibly harm them. It is aimed at allowing the parent to guide and monitor the influences their children experience to prepare them for life, not insulate them from it. It helps children understand not only what is good in life, but what is bad and how it's a waste of time and energy to pursue the wrong things. This is the right use of the homeschooling tool. It won't solve all the problems a child suffers, but it will help undo the damage.

Update 12/12: More details about Murray's curriculum are emerging. Kevin Swanson of the Christian Home Educators of Colorado gives a few good responses.

Sunday, December 9, 2007

Church Shootings Update

Still no word on whether the first shooting is related to the second shooting, but the fact that the police haven't said they are ruling that out, combined with a search warrant being executed in Arapahoe (SE Denver area) County, leads me to believe they are working on establishing such a link.

One of the families involved at New Life lost both teenage daughters and the father is still in the hospital. What do you say to a man who saw his two "young flowers" cut down in a hail of bullets? If I were in his shoes, I would be wondering if I did all I could to protect them. I'd be asking God "Why was it my two girls?" I'd mostly be a basketcase, inconsolable and overwhelmed with grief. It's one thing to read a news article, quite another to live through one. My prayers as a dad and husband are for David Works and his family. There is no good answer for why he and his family were struck this way. May God comfort and protect him during this traumatic time.

One positive note is that an armed security volunteer saved lives yesterday. A person who trained and practiced ended up saving lives today and possibly sparing my state a continued killing spree. God bless her for her quick action and bravery.

Church Shootings In Arvada and Colorado Springs

Let's see what we know right now.

At 12:30 AM this morning, a person asked for lodging at the YWAM (Youth With A Mission) base in Arvada. This is the same base that my friends went to when I was in high school. This person opened fire on four YWAMers and killed two. One of these two had helped George Morrison of Faith Bible Chapel hang Christmas lights last week. He was obviously up all night with police.

Now, someone has opened fire on people at New Life Church in Colorado Springs, just 60 miles south of Arvada only 12 hours later. Between 3 to 5 people were taken to hospitals there, although they are not sure how many victims were injured.

Are these two shootings related? Exactly 12 hours later, a gunman attacks another Christian group. I don't know, but until they're sure they have all the suspects in custody, I don't feel all that safe right now. I feel like I did on 9-11 and on 4-20-99 (Columbine). I am alert and concerned. Terrorism is aimed at destroying people's sense of security. It works.

I'm going to church next weekend, if only to show these jokers that Christians aren't driven by intimidation or fear.

Saturday, December 8, 2007

Serendipity And Happiness

The forecast is in and it's snow, snow--oh, and look more snow. I guess the weather is truly frightful. I can actually say the fire is delightful too. We have a roaring one right now, right over my shoulder behind me. Christmas music via satellite warmly rolling out of the stereo. This audiophile loves Christmas music, by the way.

And it all happened by accident.

See, I've found that intentionally seeking the perfect thing--anything, like Christmas, a vacation, a job--is the perfect way to ruin it. The best moments are the "Wow, look at us!" moments, the ones we never set out to create. They just happen. I love them, but it's not something I crave. Any time we're craving the perfect...we will be disappointed. We don't have perfection here in this life. My son has a cough, which he gave to his little sister, who is now dealing with a sore throat, cough and fever. My Fibromyalgia is making my nerves tremble so that typing is a challenge and mousing around it hit-or-miss. The kids, even the "sick" ones--they're running now--aren't behaving. It's not perfect, but I can be perfectly happy.

I don't intend to have a perfect Christmas this year, but the best ones are never perfect anyway. May all of us be blessed with an imperfect Christmas full of love, joy and happiness.

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Surely? Surely?

This is a great little video of a little girl reciting Psalm 23...



I don't know if she actually is homeschooled, but her mom and dad are definitely keeping the spirit of homeschooling. She's so cheerful even though she's got a cold. "Surely?...oh,..." "Surely?..."

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Craving the Satisfaction of a Job Well Done

Like my Creator, I need to be needed. I guess that demands an explanation. It's based in part on the Westminister Catechism. God created us because he wanted (maybe needed) someone to choose to love Him and glorify Him. God desires us to love Him and enjoy Him forever, to need Him and express that need by praying to Him.

Similarly, I have to have someone need me. I cannot be a self-contained, self-satisfying island. I've had recent reminders of this. Because I'm not able to sit for long periods at the computer anymore, I've had to let my wife come in and help put things together for our clients. It's frustrating! I'm not able to be as useful. While all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, all play and no work makes Steve purposeless and empty. I need to come away from each day with something -- anything! -- that says I was critical to something good happening that day. It's not that I feel worthless, but I need the gratification of a job well done.

Today, Karen had a crick in her neck from sleeping wrong. Now, I do not have any sort of license or degree for massage, but baby, I really enjoyed working on her neck and helping her feel better. I have strong hands and a talent for finding tension and getting it to release. I'd get the training and licensing if I thought I could do it part-time or full-time with any consistency. Unfortunately, I can't predict the times or the duration for the periods I am unable to work. If I could, I would be able to make a job of doing it. Maybe in the future, but today, it's just not possible.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Brace Yourselves, America

I am very concerned about the "Mideast Peace Conference" being put on by President Bush. It seems like every time we pressure Israel to give up its land, "acts of God" seem to tear us up. This country is in enough trouble without the President pursuing this legacy grabber. Since Carter did it in the 70s, every President has felt the need to try it and see if he can be "the one who brokered a lasting Mideast peace," especially if it's a second term presidency.

You have to wonder if we'll ever get it. Gee, pressure Israel to barter land for peace--something that's never worked!--and somehow we end up with a natural disaster or some other unforeseen event negatively impacting the nation. Most of the country's dogs could understand this logic, so why can't our leadership? One word: hubris.

Christi elaison. (God, have mercy.)

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Fight For Me

A friend of mine recently introduced me to the music of Danny Oertli. WOW! I know that this is unusual for me to go off like this, but his song "Fight For Me" really, really resonates with me. Since I can't find the lyrics online, I'm posting them here.

I am praying this for Paul and Gena today as they are dealing with a less-than-ideal situation with their newborn. I have no more details than what Paul gives on his blog. Please pray with me for them today. God, fight for them and their new baby.

Fight For Me
Exodus 14:14, 1 Peter 5:8
words and music by Danny Oertli (listen on his MySpace page) (about.com review)

Sometimes I feel surrounded
Dark spirits in the air
Waiting to destroy me
More than I can bear
A prayer of desperation
With nowhere left to run
Looking to the heavens
Feeling so undone

Fight for me, yeah
And I will remain still
Fight for me, yeah
And I will remain still

He paces in the darkness
And whispers in my ear
Poisoning your mercy
With all my deepest fears
So when I'm weak and broken
Unable to stand
I will wait in silence
And watch your mighty hand

Fight for me, yeah
And I will remain still
Fight for me, yeah
And I will remain still

(c) 2004 Danny Oertli Music
posted under Fair Use

Baby Grace

God have mercy. What happened to this innocent?

Sunday, November 25, 2007

NFL Thoughts

Time is truly relative. One NFL minute is equal to 3 real minutes, unless it's at night where it's equal to 4.5 real minutes.

The NFL needs to get a clue about the advertisements they allow NBC, ESPN, CBS and especially Fox to air. For a father trying to teach his son about what makes a real, godly man, we want to see the game. We don't want to see Beyonce bump and grind, skimpy cheerleader outfits and hard-hitting ads for shows we would never let our kids watch. The good thing about winter is that it gives the cheerleaders an excuse to dress in something more than a bikini. Now it seems there's nothing the networks won't show, and they don't care about kids. They care about profits. The NFL has an interest in controlling the presentation, yet they don't seem to value them either. It's getting to where I'm about to pull the plug or record the games to skip this stuff.

If there is a dark, sinister force in the NFL, it is most at home with Oakland Raiders owner Al Davis. Few people fail to respect their staff more than him, fewer still will out-stoop him in foul play.

Though I would like to say Mile High, it is Arrowhead that is the most feared venue, no matter the season or the quality of the Chiefs.

At it's best, football is a sport that teaches strategic and tactical thinking. At it's worst, it teaches that a person's morals don't matter if they play the game well. This is why I respect Broncos head coach Mike Shanahan for including how the person behaves off the field in his decision making.

Whoops. Broncos are on. Gotta go.

Coffee Snobbery

I need to confess something. I am a coffee addict. Worse, I am a coffee snob. I will forget Folgers, ban Yuban and chuck Chock Full o'Nuts. Bags of Eight O'Clock Coffee and Dunkin' Donuts coffee are good if you're needing a paperweight but they are horrible for drinking. Whole bean coffee is sublime and I love the scent of freshly roasted beans still shiny with natural oils. It's a sight that makes me giddy with anticipation.

I am not alone in my love for coffee. My wife is also hooked. Our day cannot start without a 16 oz cup of strong, freshly brewed goodness, followed closely by a second cup. Half and half and natural sugar round out the flavor. It gives me something to warm my hands with and soothe my mouth, which is usually dry from the medications I'm taking. I keep track of what companies are pricing their beans at so I can get the best cup for the lowest cost. As a result, I avoid Starbucks and their Seattle's Best Coffee (purchased by Starbucks in 2003). The exception is a bag of Starbucks' Gold Coast blend or their Caffe Verona. It's the only two I will pick if I have a choice. Otherwise, and this is going to sound weird, I pick up a large bag of Marques de Paiva. I usually pick up their Fair Trade or Rainforest blend. I also use their espresso blend for my espresso machine.

Speaking of espresso, most folks don't know how to do it. The secret to a good espresso drink is as follows:
  1. The Grind - a fine, powdery grind is best
  2. The Tamp - espresso needs to be pressed firmly into the basket filter, using about 40 pounds of pressure, rotationally tamped with a quarter-turn a couple of times
  3. The Temp - preheat the shot glass so that the espresso doesn't lose it's temperature. With espresso, time and temperature is your enemy. For this reason, most baristas steam the milk before or during the brew cycle, never afterward.
For regular joe coffee, a full, non-bitter taste is my favorite. Yet, there is the belief out there that the more expensive a coffee is, the better tasting the brew will be. It's partly correct. I've found that the lighter colored beans, called quakers, are responsible for bitter, sour or simply bad-tasting coffee. Every blend will have them because it's nearly impossible to weed them out, but the fewer quakers, the better the brew. Since no one to my knowledge has developed an automated quaker detector, removing the quakers must be done by hand, increasing the cost of the coffee for how long someone is paid to remove them. On the other hand, the Marques de Paiva blend somehow gets around this cost, delivering a great taste for a lower cost. I'm sure the rest of the coffee industry joins me in wondering how they are doing this.

There's other, local roasts and roasters that are hidden gems. Some of them actually make it to the big retailers too. But, like small guys taking on Starbucks retail, they are the exception not the rule. Never be afraid to plunk down a few bucks on a sample bag of coffee. You never know what you might be missing. If it's awful, throw it out and brew with another blend you trust and try another one next week, because apathy kills your taste buds. It's the one thing standing between you and your becoming a coffee snob.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Thanks Given

Okay, here I am on the day before Thanksgiving, sitting in a peaceful home. I have much to be thankful for.

Our home, despite our lack of income for two years, is still intact. This is a miracle!

I have my pain medications here and they're working. They didn't cost me a fortune, thanks to Medicaid and God's provision.

My wife and children love me. I had a wonderful, candle-lit moment with my wife last night talking about us (after I had a snit-fit). She's really the great one in our relationship. She has such a servant's heart and she takes care of every need, often stepping to the plate when I can't help. I often write about coping with a disability, but she's the real authority on it. She puts up with all my symptoms and problems. She doesn't accuse me or regret marrying me. She loves me. I am so very thankful for that. I would do anything to keep our hearts together.

My body, while injured, is not dead and is doing much better than those who have totally lost functions. I can still do some part-time work with a few provisions. If I couldn't do anything, it would rob my heart of so much.

I have the support of my parents, who sacrifice time, money and effort to help me stay on top of the house. I couldn't keep my family here without their love and support. Most importantly, it's given in grace, without asking for anything in return--except maybe allowing them to love their grandkids. I treasure every moment I'm around them. Not many people can say that about their parents. When I grow up, I want to be just like them.

We received $200 from a Christian brother or sister who wants to remain anonymous. If nothing else, this gives me hope that we will be able to give our kids some gifts this Christmas. I know that God will reward this person for what they did in secret.

We have the prospect of having valuable work done on our house to help us in our long-term needs. That will go a long way toward our being able to stay here.

I have a friend who understands chronic pain and spinal cord problems because he suffers from it too. People like me need others who can relate to us on our pain and symptoms. The frustration and the depression can get overwhelming and having someone understand your predicament during those times counts for a lot. It's God's providence.

I can pray over my little ones without worrying about their future or present circumstances, because I know God hasn't carried us this far only to drop us now.

I have the sacrificial blood of Jesus Christ in me and working good in everything I encounter. This eternal grace and forgiveness is the most wonderful and profound act in the universe. And it involves me when it didn't have to because He loves me.

And He loves you, too. That's worth a little turkey with gravy, don't you think?

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Grain Bin Ruins A Thanksgiving

I guess this falls between news and what-in-the-world. A family in Iowa lives next to a brand new grain silo. What could happen?


Astounding. I wonder what the girl is thinking. "'Move to Iowa!' they said. 'It's safer here,' they said." "Well, if we ever find the turkey..."

How could you possibly explain this to your friends or out-of-town family coming for Thanksgiving? A grain bin fell on our house? I wonder if their grandkids would even believe this story. "We were watching TV and then a half-million bushels (17,619.5 cubic meters) of corn came into our living room, knocking our house off it's foundation and putting us in our neighbor's yard." Their progeny would think them senile.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Another Handy Google Tool

Hey there, folks! Just checking in on my blog. I have been working on some pieces, but they're not flowing out as easily as I'm used to. I'm beginning to wonder if they should even see light on my blog. Something to pray about anyway.

In the meantime, as everyone's turkeys are thawing in savory anticipation of this Thursday, I'd like to introduce a tool I just discovered today. Google Notebook seems to allow anyone with a Google account to copy snippets of text to a private data collection on the web. This is a big deal for researchers working from more than one computer. Instead of toting the data with you, why not simply log in and pull it down when you need it?

Friday, November 9, 2007

The Two Income Trap, Or How I Stopped Worrying And Learned to Love E-Z Credit

This is a bit dry and academic, but trust me. When it comes to your pocketbook, this is probably the most valuable hour you will ever spend. I believe we're coming to a financial crunch point and it's going to hurt.



Did you catch the part about people valuing better public school districts and how that drove up home values too high. Yes, there is such a thing as too high just like there is such a thing as too low. Spending too much on the basics is doing damage to our economy that we may now realize all too late. We need a housing market correction or our economy will bear an even bigger shock very, very soon. The best way to do that is deregulate public schools and giving parents vouchers. Unlike the guest author, I don't think that re-regulating the banks is going to help. That's tinkering too much. Undo the bankruptcy laws of 2000 and deregulate schools. That will save our bacon by bringing things down slowly. It's either that or everyone should start homeschooling.

The Yoke's On Me

It's an odd thing, really, but I find that the only time that I have the energy and a cooperative body, I need to do work that God has lined up for me to do. I never have the energy for all of my self-initiated projects, efforts and plans. It's almost as if I am being micromanaged by God. "Yes, you may do this. No, you may not do that." On the other hand, micromanagement is such a negative term for what I've found to be a truly meaningful process.

When I was fresh out of high school, I started attending a small congregation with Karen, who was then my girlfriend. The church was pastored by Fred Wright, a very good teacher. One of his most memorable sermons had to do with the passage in Matthew 11 where Jesus said,
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.
Pastor Wright had brought a yoke, which most people have never seen in person before. A yoke is a long, heavy beam designed to lay across the necks of two oxen or other beasts of burden. Two U-shaped brackets are put under the necks and locked into place. Both animals are forced to walk at the pace of the other. Otherwise the yoke twists their necks, causing significant pain for both. An ill-fitting yoke would cause blisters and make the animal useless. So when Jesus said for us to take His yoke, he meant for us to be fastened to him, side by side, moving together. He goes further to correct what most farmers would have thought about yokes by saying that his is easy and light. It was no small deal for oxen to take a load across the neck and pull against it. Most religions I have seen traffic in heavy burdens, all except biblical Christianity.

On one hand, I can look at my situation and say "I'm screwed!" I could say it the old way, "Woe is me!" I've been on that road, and it doesn't lead anywhere I want to go. On the other hand, I could look over at Jesus and do what He's doing. He gets the glory, and I learn how to walk with God in my heart. That’s my hope, my one true way and the only chance for my survival. He came that I could have life, and have it to the hilt. I find it by walking with Him, not wandering project to project. When I die, I don’t want people to say, “Boy, that Steve sure worked hard and got a lot of stuff done!” I want them to say, “He loved his God, his bride and his family, and he loved them well.”

Monday, November 5, 2007

Halo 3 and Youth Group - A Toxic Mix?

When I was growing up, video games were more or less a novelty. Pac-Man, at right, made a lot of money in the arcades, mostly in quarters (remember cash?), but no one really considered a home gaming market, mostly because the technology didn't exist. Today, a wildly popular game such as Halo 3 grosses $170,000,000 in the first week of sales, out-pacing the figures for Harry Potter books and film releases. It is cultural currency of the highest order. It's also rated M for mature by ESRB, and with good reason. According to the experts, it's a violent, gory first-person shooter.

This game is a boon to anyone looking to train skilled commandos willing to dispatch their targets with extreme prejudice. It's not so helpful for parents who are trying to raise normal, healthy human beings. What's even more troubling is the fact that some churches are incorporating this game into their youth activities. I realize that some times that youth leaders are using some unusual tactics to build community with the kids, but some ideas are not worth pursuing, like bobbing for goldfish (wasn't that an old frat trick?). I have to wonder at the wisdom of incorporating WWJBA? into any program (What Would Jesus Blow Away?). Whose decision is it to expose any child to the violent imagry in this game?

If the questions thrown at youth ministry seem unfair, you should probably know that I was a youth leader for a few long years, meeting success and failure week in, week out. What I didn't realize until long after my work with youth was over was that Sunday School and youth programs started off not to minister to the youth of the church, but as an outreach effort to bring in new believers at young ages. It was an overt, deliberate attempt to bring about child evangelism. No wonder it's doing a poor job raising our children! When I was serving as a youth leader, I had a dramatic insight as to why youth ministry is so tough today. Parents, nominal pillars of the church community, would foist their kids on me and directly or indirectly say, "Here you go. Teach them about God." How is any youth group leader going to undo in 2 hours what the teen has been up to the other 164 hours that week? Parents are the rank and file defenders of their children, something most parents seem to have forgotten or summarily abandoned. Any youth or children's pastor needs to focus on child evangelism and parents need to lead their children into the deeeper waters of biblical Christianity, not abandoning them to a youth leader.

In the case of Halo 3, I find myself agreeing strongly with Paul Asay of Plugged In Online. I have a hard time convincing myself that it's a valid tool. There's a reason M ratings are handed out and parents of teens, Christian or secular, would find their parental rights undermined by the church leaders in such a tactical blunder. Sorry, but Halo 3 should be dropped like a sack of potatos for use in Christian youth evangelism or any youth program.

Why Renegade Teachers Kidnap Their Students - A Social Reckoning

I think I'm beginning to understand what's going on here. As most homeschooling parents know, teaching fosters a sense of intimacy. For a lot of professional teachers, they keep it cool by distancing themselves from their students or putting it in a pseudo-parental relational context. Unfortunately, there's a lot of folks out there that mistake these feelings of intimacy for love and it manifests itself in an adult relationship with a non-adult student. The teacher is unable to distinguish these feelings from real love, a commitment to the better good of the beloved, and makes choices that give them short term gratification while bringing the long-term destruction that no sensible person would choose.

What continues to bother me is the alarming frequency of these incidents showing up in the news. I suspect that many more of these incidents go unreported or under-reported. My heart questions why our society places adults in a non-familial role that produces such strong feelings of intimacy in the first place. I don't want to hit this too hard, but the Bible instructs parents, not teachers, to teach their children. Although most parents won't admit to as much, I believe that when we drop off our kids at church or at school, we are rolling the dice and hoping our children won't be exposed to this abuse. We're better off keeping them with us at both places. Putting parents back in the classroom is a good start. Keeping the kids with us at home is better.

On a related note, Tia Linscheid blogs on Home Where They Belong about what else students are being asked to keep from their parents.

Sunday, November 4, 2007

My Bio

Here's a little bit about me, in case you're wondering.

I am 6 foot even (usually) and I battle my weight a lot. I'm currently near my maximum of 370 lbs. although a lot of that is left over from my body building days in high school. So I don't look that heavy, but I sure do feel it. Please don't recommend a diet because I can't lose weight if I'm not able to exercise that much. Has my weight contributed to my disability? Absolutely, but it's hard to know which was the precipitating factor, the cause for the other.

Ok so far? All right. I was born in Colorado and first lived on a mountain pass west of Denver. I don't remember a whole lot, except being told I couldn't go outside to play because there were bears in our yard. Another unwelcome guest at this same house was the lightning. Two houses I have lived in have been struck by lightning, but the one on the pass was struck multiple times, usually taking it through my mom's stainless steel kitchen sink, although we had ball lightning a couple of times according to my dad. My dad calls me Sparky because of my tendency to find thunderstorms in the mountains.

Education was difficult for me. I was "gifted and talented," although they never clarified which of the two I belonged to. I went to public and private schools. I've tested above average on raw intelligence--this doesn't mean I'm wise--and I was diagnosed with what came to be known as ADHD. These factors practically guaranteed that I would not fit in with the crowd and when you go to a private school with only one or two cliques, this means you're alone in your outsider's world. Rejection stinks, and it was one of my motivating factors in deciding to homeschool my children. College was better both academically and socially, but I ran out of money before I was able to complete my degree. Based on my experience, I don't recommend college for anyone until they are sure they know what they want to do for the rest of their lives.

I've made a lot of mistakes in life but here's what I consider my biggest that if I had it to do over again, I would. I started dating girls around age 13. I broke a lot of hearts and had my heart broken a lot in those next five years. I got emotionally and physically involved where I had no right. This isn't a recrimination on any of the girls I dated. I simply should have not been in those relationships in the way I was involved and I often wonder if I made any positive contribution to any of them. I probably did, but it's hard to see it looking back.

God is amazing, and he allowed me to start over. I realized my mistake and repented, promising myself I would let God direct me to my wife when He judged I was ready. A few months later, I found myself falling in love with my friend and future wife, Karen. We were engaged far too long, but even then, God helped us and kept us from messing things up. Our wedding was a simple, church ceremony by our pastor and God was a big part of the ceremony. Our honeymoon was in Silver Creek, a beautiful, smaller ski resort.

Making the adjustment to married life is never very easy, but we made a good decision in getting good counseling before getting married that saved us a lot of grief. We found ourselves being drawn to youth ministry and that defined our role in our church for years.

Eight months after our wedding, I was involved in a car accident that didn't seem too terrible, but it was the pebbles that started the avalanche towards my disability. I rear-ended another car and found myself folded around the shoulder strap of my seatbelt. The injury to my throacic part of my spine was treated, but it never really healed. In five years, I made a career migration to an office job that was less demanding and allowed me to earn more. I ended up working for ministries based in Colorado. That's what I did for a day job, but my wife and I began to find ourselves moving from youth ministry toward young marrieds and families.

Our family began growing in 1996 with the birth of our first daughter and grew again in 1999 with our first son. Our introduction to parenthood was traumatic with our daughter requiring a crash C-section and cardiac surgery 40 hours afterward. God was amazing and walked us through the first days and years of parenting.

My wife and I first began feeling our long-term calling in our first year of marriage, but it didn't really hit home until our realization that we were burning out on youth ministry. We took a very low cost retreat and it had a deep impact in our lives on all levels. We began to see that performing as servants of God is a distant second to being His children and that we needed to plug into God as the source of our strength instead of relying on ourselves. The retreat was a key moment in our lives where God allowed us to reconnect with Him and with each other.

Our vision now is to see God use this in more people's lives, especially those who are in ministry themselves and needing to make adjustments. We believe that despite my limitations, God can do great things in us. We are eager for what he wants to do in us and through us.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Comic Relief

I did some figuring today and realized that by this Friday, I will have seen seven (VII) different doctors in the last month for everything from my eyes to my feet. My wife and I both have writer's cramp in our hands from filling out form after form. (Who is this Hippa person anyway?) I'm glad to have all these checks, but I've got to space them out more! I now have the most of the easy listening music as well as the morning talk show programs rolling around in my head, followed by the voice of Judy Tenuta yelling, "Boy, gettin' cured will kill ya!" I think this is the most unique side-effect of the medications that I've experienced...so far, anyway.

In honor of, or perhaps because of, all these doctors, I'm putting on some much-needed comic relief. I now present (via YouTube) Tim Conway and Harvey Corman in The Dentist Sketch.

Using the Wrong Compass

Would you let your kids visit a site that offers them their own personal familiar spirit based on a creature of nature and they called it a "daemon?" What if they made a movie about it? What if in the end of the stories it told that the children killed God and did as they chose?

The stories I'm talking about are part of a series called His Dark Materials and the movie is called The Golden Compass. The author, Phillip Pullman set out to literally invert Milton's Paradise Lost by becoming one of those on the side of darkness. He creates a strawman of God by making him a feeble old angel and his church to be the real center of evil power needing to be overthrown.

Although Pullman has taken exception to it, his trilogy is compared as the antithesis to The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis. Pullman levels charges at Lewis, finding him contemptible. Pullman also lumps God with all religions, an error committed by most atheists, and judges the church a corrupt and repressive regime.

New Line Cinema is producing the film, the same that produced The Lord of the Rings trilogy. My admiration for producing such a work based on Tolkien's books is now turned to revulsion for producing Pullman's gnostic daemons. Don't expect me to buy any of New Line's work for a while unless they drop the film.

Pullman's strawman Authority (by any other name) is no match for my very real God Who created the heavens and the earth. The same God who created us gave us brains for seeing through strawmen and for grasping the laws--natural and spiritual--that He created. While Pullman would say that God's laws are repressive and harmful, I have found the opposite to be true. God's laws, like those of any good parent, are to help us avoid injury and stay in fellowship with him and with each other. Anything else is simply fantasy.

Pullman is one of the people that Peter wrote to us about, warning that their claims of special knowledge and real truth are empty and self-destructive. Why have anything to do with them? Know the truth: God made you and He loves you as His child. There is nothing better than to accept His offer of a redeemed, full relationship with Him and eternal life, enjoying that relationship and his creative beauty forever. The Bible is the true golden Compass. It is not any special interpretation of the truth by one man, but a letter written through many hands by the same God. It will be a great day (hopefully not the last day) when Pullman wakes up to that reality.
Those Divine demands which sound to our natural ears most like those of a despot and least like those of a lover, in fact marshal us where we should want to go if we knew what we wanted. He demands our worship, our obedience, our prostration. Do we suppose that they can do Him any good, or fear, like the chorus in Milton, that human irreverence can bring about ‘His glory’s dimunition’? A man can no more diminish God’s glory be refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word ‘darkness’ on the walls of his cell. But God wills our good, and our good is to love Him…and to love Him we must know Him: and if we know Him, we shall in fact fall on our faces. If we do not, that only shows that what we are trying to love is not yet God — though it may be the nearest approximation to God which our thought and fantasy can attain. Yet the call is not only to prostration and awe; it is to a reflection of the Divine life, a creaturely participation in the Divine attributes which is far beyond our present desires. We are bidden to ‘put on Christ’, to become like God. That is, whether we like it or not, God intends to give us what we need, not what we now think we want. Once more, we are embarrassed by the intolerable compliment, by too much love, not too little.
- C.S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain

Tia from HomeschoolBlogger.com wrote about this a few days ago. The comments alone are worth your time.

Monday, October 29, 2007

A Short Update

Can't say too much about today. I had a scope procedure done this morning. Everything went fine. But I am really tired.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Soaring In The Mountains

It’s hard to believe that Christmas is only two months away. With today’s high in the mid 70s, the snow we had a few days ago now seems like a distant memory. Ten years ago from today, we were engulfed in one of the biggest blizzards of my life, one seldom seen even in Colorado. I remember surprising my 8 year-old niece by grabbing her and throwing her through the air into the freshly fallen 4 feet of snow. She loved it! It hurt my back to do it, but she convinced me to do it twice more. Today, doing that would put me out of commission for a few weeks. I can’t wait to get to heaven and have a new body with which to do things like that. I believe there will be snow in heaven. It wouldn’t be perfect without it.

Before my disability, I used to love to ski. My favorite runs were the long, groomed cruisers where any speed was possible, but carving long turns gave you the thrill of controlling your speed just enough to know you were skiing within your limits. I’ve never skied on parabolics (mostly because they’re so new), but I get the feeling I would love them. Skiing gave me the feeling of riding the wind, of flying. It was gravity with all the perks. Schussing down a mountain with all the speed of a bird and the grace of an ice skater was something that made life worth it all.

It’s why people spend so much on lift tickets, skis, poles and other gear. It’s being able to slip out of your world and into one filled with soaring and sweeping turns, amazing speed and the occasional jump when you’re feeling fearless. I may not be able to do it now, but I did it then…and I’ll do it again in heaven!

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Rockies In Boston on Fox...Worth Watching?

I'm watching the Colorado Rockies in the World Series. After the dark days of so many seasons with not one playoff berth, I find it amazing that I'm even typing that. Watching the series coverage on Fox is painful. I'm confused: is their tag line "Viewer Discretion Advised"? I'm having to yell at my kids, "Eyes!" because while I can mute the guy with the dark and mysterious voice, the only way I can block the shocking stuff on the screen is to put up a graphic on the screen or turn the whole thing off. Given Fox's putrid stench, I might just institute a blackout and listen to the game on the radio. If the 1st inning break is as bad as the other breaks thus far, the radio it will be.

Monday, October 22, 2007

On The Dark Side Of Tolerance

Scouts put together a stretcher and carried out a wounded hiker for three miles. It's not hard to figure out that these scouts are in the same state as the scouts organization that is going to be charged $200,000 in rent because they discriminate against homosexuals.

This is the ugly side of so-called "tolerance laws." It is legislation that is aimed at removing the stigma from the homosexual community, but all it really does is cripple the good organizations founded on religious and moral principles. Rather than being an advocate for the disenfranchised, the groups pushing for this sort of legislation only produce victims and martyrs.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Change Is Good

It's snowing, the first hard snow the year. It's beautiful to see, especially after the heat of summer. On the other hand, we had so much snow last year that we were dreading it by February. Today, the kids want to go sledding. In a few months, they will probably be complaining about it. This alone makes me realize how geared to change we humans are. We can stand more than a few months of the same weather.

A friend of mine is considering mission aviation in Alaska. He said that both missionaries and natives alike struggle with depression. I'm sure that the weather up there combined with the lack of daytime sunshine plays a big part in this. I can't imagine going for weeks without seeing the sun.

God created us with the need for change, for sunshine and fresh air. When we don't get them, something's wrong and we know it. We may not know what it is we're missing, but we know something isn't right. That's where God comes in. He's the vine dresser, the one who made us and knows our needs. When we turn to him, he knows what we need and how to meet our needs. All we have to do is ask him for his help. He will either change the situation or change us. That's his job.

The snow is still coming down. I'm glad I don't have anywhere to go right now. I think I'll watch the flakes come down. It's a nice change.

Friday, October 19, 2007

Wards of the State

Fingerprinting to See Your Child At School: It's all a big mistake, but it shows how easily the government can cut off parents' access to their children in public schools. There are educrats that firmly believe that the children in their classroom are wards trusted to their care, that the parents may not always know whats best for their children and that as their teacher, they have a right to raise these children as they see fit from 8 to 4 in the afternoon. Good luck trying to convince them otherwise.

When I was in high school, I took a make-up course in Speech and Debate. It was not my favorite class! I ended up on the debate team. It was poor going all the way because I had no clue how to debate. That year's proposal to be debated was, "The student's right to confidentiality is greater than the parent's right to know."

Yeah, that's the same reaction I had. First, I had to have some help understanding what the implication was and how that would affect my positions, both for and against this proposal. The implication was that the state should be the ultimate parent and that students should have ultimate control of their lives. What was most troubling to me was that we were even debating this. My only plausible argument for the proposal was to argue to the exception, claiming that some of the students (a.k.a. wards of the teachers) would be harmed if parents had total access to the students' lives. My arguments against the proposal were legion because it was a fallacious proposal.

Yet such a mindset, that the state is the only capable parent, pervades education and this mindset troubles me more than anything else in education. It springs from a worldview that eliminates God in favor of the state. One only need read the following quote to see this in action. It's chilling...

"Parents give up their rights when they drop the children off at public school. " - Melinda Harmon, Federal District Judge [source]

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Home-baked Goodness

My wife and I have been working for the last few years trying to get our family eating healthy food. This is not an easy task. As most people find out, if you want to eat good, you have to pay more money for it.

Approaching the holidays brings this out like no other time. We have a cooking magazine with an article that my wife left out. It starts out with the line, "Take a can of pie filling…" Immediately, I began thinking, What would we use in place of that? The next thought hit me square between the eyes. It might have something to do with apples and sugar. What a revelation! The real reason why there is a can of the apple pie filling in the first place is because no one has the time to make it on their own. We live in a world that is too busy to make apple pies from scratch. They add all these chemicals and extra preservatives to make sure that the food doesn't spoil while it sits on a shelf at the store. If I were to present two pies to a person and tell them that one of them was completely homemade and the other was bought from store, which do you think he would choose? Quite obviously, he would pick the homemade one, with all the imperfections and irregularities found in home cooking. The world wants good food; it just doesn't know where to get it. And so it accepts secondhand, store-bought imitation versions of the real thing, filled with chemicals and things they know to have no nutritious value, if it's not harmful.

Christians, especially homeschooling Christians, are susceptible to the belief that they are inferior because they are not polished, store-bought perfect. They fail to realize that what the world really wants is truth, with all of its little bumps and ridges. There's a reason they call Hollywood "Tinseltown." All that glitters truly is not gold. No matter how many chemicals, face lifts and botox, they can't replace the truth that God has created, just like you can't replace home-baked bread with a snack cake. He made us hunger for what is truly good. We crave sustenance and substance over sweet and saccharine.

To the homeschooling moms, I say that you are the fresh-baked bread of the world. You give life and hope to those who need it: your children. It is better that you raise one child with such goodness than for you to raise 50 children with the wisdom of the world. Have patience. Your work will be rewarded.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Changing Seasons

The weather's getting colder and that seems to be affecting my health, which isn't uncommon given that my arthritis makes me weather sensitive. I'm 34, by the way, the age when I should be enjoying my activity and challenging myself. Instead, my best friend is Ben Gay and two words that make me smile is the phrase "sleeping deeply." Sitting at the computer is a challenge, not a restful activity like it should be. Am I angry about it? Not furious, but I get frustrated enough. I am thwarted by my own body. I should not be down for 3 days after just going outside to toss the ball with my son. Yet, this is my world.

Someone who is very dear to me got promoted (died) the day before yesterday. It's very hard to see her go, even though it was definitely her time. I know that she is young again, youthful. Her knees don't ache, her hands are new and she sees wonders more beautiful and amazing than what I've ever seen, even in Colorado. I really envy her in a way, although I don't expect to die for many, many years yet, and God is going to have to personally drag me from my family. Still, heaven can't be all that bad and I'm looking forward to living free of this pain and lack of ability. Really looking forward. I have a sincere understanding of Romans 8:22-23:
We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies.
Still, a part of me really likes autumn. Summer, I almost hate to say it, it gets old. I don't get tired of green, but it just loses it's specialness. I suppose I'd get tired of white if I lived further north, too. I love the football season, hot coffee, curling up under a blanket (when I'm not under the weather-ha!) and a good book. Kim Hill's lyrics from Black Shirts come to mind.
I love fall
And living by tall trees
And I love having a fire
Just before the first hard freeze
And I thank You for making all of this
And holding me in Your hands
I think I'm finally growing up
I'm starting to understand
What am I beginning to understand? I'm understanding what God said to Paul, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in [your] weakness." God isn't interested in how good we can be out of our own strengths. When my strength fades like the green from the leaves, His color comes through, revealing his glory. Is it the way I've chosen? No, but it's the best way He can be glorified in my life and I will accept that. He's holding me in His hands. Why would I choose anything else?



By the way, since no one else out on the web has Kim Hill's Black Shirts lyrics, I'm providing them.
Black Shirts
by David Mullen and Kim Hill

I love wearing black shirts
And wearing them with black Levi's
Jump in my convertible
And kick into overdrive
I love good times with good friends
And turning up my stereo
Dinner with my family
And watching late late shows

CHORUS:
But do I save any love for You?
Do I save any time for You?
A time when We're all alone,
I mean really alone?

I love fall
And living by tall trees
And I love having a fire
Just before the first hard freeze
And I thank You for making all of this
And holding me in Your hands
I think I'm finally growing up
I'm starting to understand

CHORUS:
I need to be saving love for You
I need to be spending time with You
A time when We're all alone
I mean really alone

(repeat chorus)

presented under fair use

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Manxes, Mabbies and How Not To Dose A Cat

I found out that Tux, our 3 year old cat is 100% Manx and his aloofness is endemic to his breed. I like how that sounds, but not what it means. Because he's a Manx, he doesn't act like a Burmese or even a Bichon. No, I didn't cuss; that's the name of a dog breed. Tux is the epitome of the adage, "Dogs have masters and cats have staff."

Again, we got Tux because I really wanted a cat, even though I was allergic to most. The Manx, bobtail and all, is one of the few dander-free cats and the only one in my knowledge that doesn't look too weird. Then again, when my Brazilian neighbor saw Tux, she swore we cut off his tail.

Where was I? ...oh yeah, hypo-allergenic cats. Regardless, we set about getting another Manx cat, this one a mixed breed, a cross between a Manx and a Tabby. Yup, she's a Mabby, and we named her Chessie after she reminded me of the sleeping kitten in the Chesapeake and Ohio Railroad ads. It sure beats calling her Tanx.

She's now about six months old and we did the Bob Barker thing and had her spayed. Tux has been neutered already, which is a far less "invasive" procedure. Invasive is surgeon-speak for "big money." It also means that Chessie has a big ol' incision on her tum-tum. This wouldn't be a problem for normal cats, but Chessie's personality just can't leave new things alone. She messed with the wound and got it infected. Now the poor thing has staples in her belly and an Elizabethan collar around her neck. That's the "radar dish" thing they put around dogs that don't know any better. Obviously, she hates it. She's been moping and trying to carry on with life as normal. Tonight, my wife actually wondered what it was doing to the cat's self-esteem. My guess is that Tux's only thought is, "Do you get all the channels or just Animal Planet with that thing?"

Also tonight, we got to give her liquid antibiotics. Contrary to what you might think, the collar did not serve as a funnel. My wife was holding her and became the ultimate victim of the ordeal with a couple of scratches down her arm. I'm wondering how many more days are we supposed to give her this stuff and whether we can get some leather gloves that cover the arms. Maybe we could get some twine and bamboo shoots (Hey, it worked for Gilligan).

Despite all of the recent trouble, Chessie is quite a bit more affectionate than Tuxedo and purrs at my touch. She's still suspicious of me, but she's very approachable, just like any good boss.

Monday, October 8, 2007

Living With A Scaredy Cat

I have a 3 year-old cat named Tuxedo. He's a Manx (rhymes with banks) mix and we deliberately chose his breed because Manx are "low allergy" cats and my allergy to cats is strong. I've had eyes swell shut on me because of cat dander, and Manx for whatever reason don't have that kind of dander, or at least not enough to set me off.

Unfortunately, Tuxedo or "Tux" and I got off on the wrong paw and he's afraid of me. If I come downstairs, he dashes into hiding. If he comes into the room, I can't make any sudden movements or he's outta there. I've tried making up with him numerous times, but he can't seem to shake it off. I'll hold my hands out to pet him or even gently approach him and pet him, stroking his fur and rubbing underneath his chin. Any Burmese or any dog for that matter would take an "all-is-forgiven" attitude with me in a heartbeat. Not this cat; he refuses.

At the moment, Tux is lying five feet from me, observing life out our window (or, watching Cat TV, as I call it). A movement of my feet or a rolling of my chair and it's Goodbye Kitty. I want to pick that cat up and cuddle him. I want to rub all around his head, his cheeks, ears, and chin. Much as I want to, he won't let me get near him enough to lavish him with this affection. A pet, a touch is all I get. He won't relax and he'll bolt at the chance. It has been this way for much of his adult life. I'm not sure if he resents me, if he's angry with me, or if he simply fears me. The only message I get is "STAY AWAY!"

It's sad, but I begin to understand how God often feels with us. He wants to be near us, to stroke us under our chins, so to speak. He wants to lavish us with His affection, yet so often we bolt, we hide or we won't let Him get close. We refuse to be still and let Him near us, choosing busyness and hold Him at arm's length with our unrepentant hearts. His heart aches, longing to hold us in his arms and let us rest, stop and relax, yet we refuse, feeling unworthy or angry. We may feel his touch and yet we bolt or jump away at the nearest opportunity. Why? If we would just let Him love us and let ourselves linger in His arms, we would find that acceptance and deep comfort that only He can give us.

Isaiah 30:15, 18 says,
This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says:
"In repentance and rest is your salvation,
in quietness and trust is your strength,
but you would have none of it. ..."
Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you;
he rises to show you compassion.
For the LORD is a God of justice.
Blessed are all who wait for him!
When God moves, let him pick you up and hold you. That's his heart for you. He wants to give you a good "scratch behind the ears" and soothe you. It gives Him joy to do that with you. Just be still and know that He is God.

Link to Jamin's insightful thoughts about this

Sunday, October 7, 2007

Why I Won't Post Poetry

I've had a long-standing rule on my blog. I will not post poetry. In a world with so much bad poetry and an abuser-friendly forum such as the blogosphere, there's no reason for me to subject myself to criticism (or praise) because there is certainly more than enough verse out there already to hurt your eyes with.

On the other hand, there's an exception to this rule, and good poetry shines so much more because of it. Kristina Campbell, who blogs under the name of Onfire, posted one such beauty recently. Now, beauty is somewhat subjective and depending on the reader, this poem either grabs you or it leaves you wondering. To me, there is nothing more beautiful than two old lovebirds sharing the flame of love they have kept alight since their youth together. That's what I want to be when I grow old.

Friday, October 5, 2007

Progress, Part II

I find it interesting to consider how our culture impacts our faith. Some may like to pretend it doesn't but I believe that the soil in which the seed is planted has an impact on the plant and the fruit that comes from it.

For example, in America, it seems like we have a tendency towards "instant replay" aspects of our faith. Before that runs too far, let me explain what I mean. In the NFL, as with any other sport, there have been bad calls by referees. As a solution, the NFL created the instant replay review where a team can challenge a call. The ref can review the play and either agree with or reverse the ruling on the field, explaining for the sake of the audience why he did so. While that has corrected some poor calls, it also has affected the way we view referees. No longer are the rulings on the field irreversible and (as far as the governing officials see it) inscrutable.

Likewise, when we get a "bad call" from God, like a child's death or a disability, we think we deserve an explanation--maybe even a correction. That's not how it works, at least not normally. There is no combination of syllables or order of words that can console a grieving father who naturally asks, "Why?" No answer would satisfy him, only because he doesn't really want to know why; he wants his child back.

Beth Holloway, the mother of Natalee Holloway, recently appeared in an interview and she reflected that her daughter's disappearance in Aruba has cost her everything. Nothing has remained untouched in her life, not her marriage, not her job, nothing. She's searching for her daughter, and if she can't find her, she's going to look for answers, answers she possibly believes that she's owed. I'm a parent and that's likely what I'd be doing if I was in her place.

My friend Russ posited this one tonight, and I think its worth sharing. The answer we sometimes get to "Why" questions might be simply that He won't provide the answer and simply require us to exercise faith. Faith that He is with us in these moments. Faith that He still works everything together for our good. Faith that He is "I AM," the eternal One that not only created the universe but acts within it to shape us and bring us into relationship with Him.

I'm often amazed at the intricacies of life. I encounter a few seconds delay in one place, like a traffic light, and later I see a friend somewhere else I go that I would have otherwise missed entirely. That friend coincidentally could use my help with something or needs me to relay something on to someone else and that ends up working some good in the grand scheme of things. I don't ask "Why" then, do I? Only when I disagree, or find the situation disagreeable. That's when I throw the red flag out on the field and challenge the play. I might as well hand the flag over to the ref before the opening kickoff. He's God; I'm not. He's inscrutable, and I am not. He is I AM and most certainly, I am not. That doesn't mean I won't have questions for Him when His perfect kingdom comes, but it does mean that I don't have to waste time with instant replay while I'm still on the field. Wind the clock, folks, and let's go.

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

The Mom Video

Anita Renfroe has been on Bananas Comedy show on Skyangel and now it appears her video below is "going viral" after Yahoo featured it on their site. She's got the mom part down, that's for sure and my wife can relate to most of it, except for the shoving your kids off to the school bus. (Our school bus is parked in the garage.) Have a seat and enjoy this rendition of the William Tell Overture.

(Yes, the video is choppy. Just listen, don't watch)



Here's the version from AnitaRenfroe.com. (The site may be crashing because of all the traffic, so be patient).

Monday, October 1, 2007

What God Calls Progress

Please keep us in prayer. I just found out that my contract with my church to provide online services will not be renewed and that I'm done at the end of the month. We could look at this as another setback, but all day long, I've felt God prompting me to look at this as Him moving me forward. Our idea of progress is linear. We believe that A leads to B and B leads to C, and that C is further along than A, ad infinitum. God's concept of progress can be quite different. The vine thinks how tall or long it grows, that's progress. The husbandman believes in getting each vine to produce closer to its maximum yield. He cares for each vine and helps it produce more fruit. That's progress to Him.

Lord, help us not to lose track of what you see as progress and bountiful harvest. Let us seek to bless others with what you have entrusted to us and not shrink back to conserve what little we have. You can do all things, Father. Nothing is too hard for you.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Drivers Education In Colorado: Watch for falling trucks

When I was 15 and 3/4 years old, I got a learner's permit. One of the first highways my dad taught me to drive was I-70 west of Denver. This is a stretch of highway so nerve-rattling, it has it's own web page! Believe me, it deserves it. Imagine a dad telling his nervous driver-in-training, "By the way, keep watching your rear view mirror. If a semi is gaining on you very fast, do what you can to get out of the way."

My response, at least in my mind, was probably, "Yeah, Dad, sure thing. Am I too young to have a will?" Amazingly, I've never seen a truck actually plow into a runaway truck ramp, but I've seen enough trucks in them to know that my dad's words were not pure fiction. My father and my grandfather have been driving these Colorado roads all their lives. Now, I am less than five short years away from conducting my own driver's training for my daughter and eight years for my own son. Yikes! I can't imagine what that will be like. I'd better start praying for patience and peace now.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Colorado Educrats Rebuffed By HSLDA

Under strengthened liberal control of the Colorado state government, educrats have been growing bolder in their efforts to limit freedom in education. For example, a family in one Colorado school district filed their notice of intent to homeschool only to receive a notice that said they must submit further information, such as the child's grade, birth date and age. Colorado law does not require they submit this information, although the district clearly told them that their own form must be completed. After Chris Klicka of HSLDA followed up with the district, the district agreed to stop hassling the family and accept the legal form instead of their own.

What's the big deal? For one thing, the district knows that they can try to get away with it. There is no law actually forbidding districts from requesting information, but they have no right to demand it. They are counting on the ignorance of homeschooling parents to fill out their forms, much like phishing con-artists count on you clicking to "update" your information to be in compliance with your service provider like Key Bank or eBay. What happens to your information when you fill out the district's form? Who knows? Perhaps they will use it in legal ways or not-so-legal ways.

Another problem that may be related to the first one is that school districts, especially the poorer performing ones, are hemorrhaging cash and are desperate to claim money based on per-student enrollment. What information is required for a school to claim or to prove that a student actually attends? Who audits the districts? Inquiring minds want to know. Until we do know, educrats who sit unchallenged will continue to push their limits and expand their power.

Finally, one other area that seems to raise questions is what Colorado school districts consider homeschooling. For example, the local media has been quick to trumpet rising enrollments in districts like in Grand Junction, but is not clear what they mean by homeschool. Do they mean learn-at-home public school students, virtual academy charter school students or actual homeschooling families? If they mean the first two, then they're not quite within the legal definition, but that's better than the third option. If they mean that, are they justly or unjustly claiming the per student funding?

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Paging Jokes

I've always liked paging jokes, although paging has become rare in the digital age. It seems like yesterday I was walking in Stapleton Airport's cavernous terminal listening to airport pages as people hustled from concourse to concourse to make their connection. The pages usually went like this: "Paging Mr. (or Ms.) Doe, Mr. John Doe, please come to an airport information booth or white paging telephone." The joke is to get the page announcer to say a name that sounds like a term or phrase. For example, "Paging Ms. Mejit, Ms. Ima Mejit, Mr. Taychof, Mr. Dewey Taychof, Mrs. Sedilla, Mrs. Kay Sedilla..." and so on. It's a fun turn-of-phrase that anyone can do.

Here's some of the better ones we could come up with while going over neural anatomy today in homeschool:
  • Mrs. Bellem, Mrs. Sara Bellem
  • Mrs. Nal, Mrs. Audrey Nal
  • Mrs. Ella, Mrs. Pat Ella
  • Mrs. Crehas, Mrs. Pam Crehas
  • Mr. Kia, Mr. Trey Kia
  • Mrs. Emick, Mrs. Ann Emick
  • Mr. Anin, Mr. Mel Anin
  • Mr. Enha, Mr. Rhett Enha
  • Mr. Airhees, Mr. Art Airhees
If you want to try your hand a it, click to comment and add your own. It doesn't have to be medical; just keep it clean. Have fun!

Malkin Takes On The Flying Nun

Long have I held Michelle Malkin in high esteem. She's a young mother and wife who has a gift for cutting to the heart of most issues and comes down on my side of the fence most of the time. Today's very incisive column is no exception. Malkin takes on the flying nun who has a habit (sorry) of gushing out emotional flotsam in the process of accepting awards. No, Sally, we do not "really like you" when you do that.

Michelle's very astute observations about the maternal instinct reminds me of a discussion recently. A friend of mine told me that she hoped no one would ever break into her house, not because of what the intruder might do, but because of what she might do to the intruder. She felt that her ability to restrain herself from doing serious harm wouldn't stop her from removing that threat to her children.

The night of September 11, 2001, I couldn't sleep. Really, I don't think too many people slept soundly that night. I remember looking out of our townhouse looking at the streetlights and wondering how I was supposed to protect my children (then 5 and 2 years old) from such madness, such reckless destruction. The answers were hard to come by that night and for many nights after. I still don't have most of them, but I know that our military forces have done much to keep us safe. They are the ones who deserve the awards and accolades from our society, not actresses with an ax to grind.

Friday, September 14, 2007

Kindergarten Breaks Up A Good Pair

Deb Turner, blogging for Gena Suarez at Home Where They Belong, brought out an article from the Observer-Dispatch of Utica, NY that is meant to show a kinder kindergarten approach to the dreaded first day of school. Kids are introduced to the classroom with their parents, given a cupcake (anyone for the chorus of A Spoonful of Sugar?), and set down with their new family--er, classmates and told to draw a picture of themselves. It's all a calculated move to warm children up to kindergarten, which of course was created to warm children up to grade school.

Mom, there's a perfectly good reason they're doing this. Some--or even most--kids are not ready for school at age 5. My empirical observation is that they are not ready for the separation from home, even for half a day. They are not ready to relate to Mrs. Whatever-her-name-is in the same way they relate to you as a feminine authority figure. For example, one of the tasks we had to learn was tying our shoes. I had to sit down with a pair of sneakers nailed to a board and tie them right. The assistant teacher told me that if I didn't learn it, she would fail me. I never did learn it. On the other hand, I did learn that authority figures aren't really authentic in that assistant teachers don't call the shots, never mind that it's practically impossible to flunk out of kindergarten. As you can see, my own experience was not all that grand and I believe children today are in a similar if not worse situation.

Let your kids stay home. Resist sending them off to some strange, cold classroom and let your children learn the same way they've been doing for five years already. You can keep going. We did. Keep them home where they belong.